A few weeks ago, I compared indie rock bands to limited edition fast food items. I am proud to report that I felt no shame. A few days ago, I stumbled on to a picture of the Pokémon Koffing. Koffing is easily the greatest Pokemon of all time, and I got another idea: why not find the Pokémon look-a-like of indie rock icons and turn it into a feature? Seriously, why not? It won’t hurt you. So, for no particular reason other than my own amusement, please enjoy the following list.
Damian Abraham and Koffing
KEY SIMILARITIES: Prominent chest art, mischievous attitude, comparable smells (hypothetical).
Ezra Koenig and Squirtle
KEY SIMILARITIES: Diminutive frame, “down for anything” attitude, probably into waterslides.
George Lewis Jr. (Twin Shadow) and Alakazam
KEY SIMILARITIES: Both into “manly shit,” perpetually fucked-up moustaches, both can bend spoons with their mind.
Henry Rollins and Machoke
KEY SIMILARITES: Both exhibitionists, have horrifying gel-hardened hair, and those guns.
Carrie Brownstein and Charmeleon
KEY SIMILARITIES: Both fan favorites, capable of breathing fire, and have never taken any shit from anyone.
Andrew WK and Gyarados
KEY SIMILARITIES: Majestic looks, both masters of the aquatic, and both sure whines of a great party.
Spencer Krug and Raichu
KEY SIMILARITIES: Both into lightning bolts, charmingly doughy, and grossly underrated.
Mr. Muthafuckin’ eXquire and Muk
KEY SIMILARITIES: Both leave puddles wherever they go, both big hits at the strip club.
Sorry, Dudes. The Ladies Won Punk This Year.
These are the women who kicked a particularly large amount of ass in 2013.
2013: The Most OK Year Ever
Kitty Pryde reflects on the year her career sort of went to shit, and why she's sort of totally fine with that.
Cam'ron is Still Harlem's Diplomat
We met with the Golden Boy and spoke wi
The Only Kanye West Interview on Art and Inspiration You Need to See
Kanye reveals he's working on another short film that will be presented similarly to "Cruel Summer."
YG: Krazy, Sexy, Kool
As he readies his debut studio album, the Cali rapper talks about just how krazy his life is.
When Kellz Freezes Over
We flew down to Atlanta to interview R. Kelly. Like everything in the world of Kellz, nothing went as planned, but it still felt right.
Frank Turner Dragged Me to the Weirdest Show I've Ever Been to
Sometimes you end up at interactive dance parties in Brooklyn basements with cat people.
Old, But Not Dead Yet
One man's journey to Not Dead Yet Fest in Toronto. Or, a saga of learning to love furniture as much as you love hardcore.
Kevin Morby's Midwest Heart
The former Woods player and Babies member opens up about his love-hate relationship with New York, and how the internet is eating our souls.
When You Wish Upon a WorldStar
We interviewed Q, the mind behind WorldStarHipHop, one of the most ludicrous—and ludicrously popular—sites on the net.