Jerkin' It
The 'Don’t Jerk And Drive' Campaign Was Pulled Because No One Was Mature Enough to Handle It
The PSA was supposed to grab the attention of drivers, but it sounded like it was talking about grabbing something else.
Let's All Talk About Drake's New Song
2 Chainz's verse is kind of boring, Drake's part is great, and Big Sean makes us think about our freshman year of college.
The Gay Sex Club Next to the Vatican Is the Saddest Place on Earth
I wandered through a dark maze of long hallways leading to more doors—one of them was open, revealing a fat hairy dude lying on a bed jacking off to porn that sounded like Tim Allen screaming at his kids on 'Home Improvement.' I had entered the Bear...
Slaying the Snot-Sneezing Dragon
Guys in prison jack off so much they’ll try damn near anything. I used to spray hot water from an artificial lemon all over my sac when I busted just ‘cause I had nothing better to do. I once had a toilet in a cell with a stainless steel seat that...
How to Quit Porn and Not Entirely Ruin Your Life
There I was, lying in bed ass-naked at 1 AM on a Tuesday night with my eyes closed pulling on my limp dick like a bird trying to get a worm out of the frozen ground. This is what jerking off had become for me. I never should have given up porn.
Nick Gazin's Comic Book Love-In #69
This is my 69th comics column for VICE and I am very proud of that. I hope that you are 69ing while are reading it. I am masturbating to Penny Flame having sex with a hot tub full of Jack in the Box employees.
