This Child Music Vlogger Is Going to Steal My Job

I'm 23, which is not old in general life terms, but in internet terms, it is fucking ancient. Teenagers run the internet: it is their hellish domain, and I am but an old goblin dwelling under a bridge, tweeting. Recently, in my travels across this dusty meme terrain, I came across the heir apparent to the internet kingdom. He is a vlogger known only as Rory, and he is going to rule the internet.

Rory is a child music vlogger who loves Brockhampton and Migos, and thinks Lil Yachty and Lil Pump are "so-so." He posts from an account named only 'PF,' he's fluent in the language of online (the above, for example, are his clout glasses), and proclaims himself "the new Anthony Fantano." His videos usually take the form of reactions—either his own or his dad's—to various musicians (usually rappers), though sometimes his dad will share new music with him.

I was first made aware of Rory via his Brockhampton "BOOGIE" reaction video, which I will provide for you here:

Rory: "I already know this is gonna be fire."

It's hard to argue with this level of enthusiasm, right? Cynical adult critics (i.e. me) could probably do with a dose of whatever Rory's having. Right now, he's doing the rounds with his Lil Pump x Lil Yachty x Offset reaction:

Isn't this… kind of Vlogging 101? There is everything you could ever want here: bizarre opener ft. cat? Got it. Memorable quotes? Hell yeah ("I didn't just come with my mom's phone and just the camera. I came with the Rory essentials"—these are a cup, melon juice, and a spritzer filled with water "just in case if stuff gets too fire," and a bag of chips.) A Serious Rap Face? You bet:

Basically I just wanted to point out that Rory, a child, is basically coming for my job. And I actually think I'm fine with it.

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