Hey, you! Guess what? Life is a never-ending crescendo of mostly negative experiences that, while appearing to be the building blocks of some kind of learning curve at first, eventually reveal themselves to be more like Lemmings: filing off a giant cliff one by one to, over time, make a huge pile of pain and suffering and chaos, which you manage to become so deeply disconnected from that it almost (almost) begins to be entertaining in some way.
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But you already knew all that. What you might not know—assuming you aren't one of the eight or so thousand lucky people who've already heard it on Soundcloud—is that a thing of beauty does in fact exist out there in the world. Something that won't hurt you or turn its back on you or tell you lies. Something that doesn't have the sentience nor the power to create incredibly dangerous and horrifying legislation in a time of need. Something that is so pure and lovely that you may struggle to believe in it at first. But after the second or third play I think you'll begin to understand it, to love it and treasure it like I have. You guessed it: it's a mash up of the Seinfeld theme song and Linkin Park's 2003 opus "Numb."Now, I know what you're thinking: "I don't know if I'm ready." Oh, haha. Trust me, buddy, you're not. Not even close. But, much like a Lemming, I think you should just take a blind and reckless leap of faith into the unknown and hope for the best. Isn't that all this "living" thing is, anyway?
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