Is Macklemore going Number One more important or less important than Kanye West tweeting seven words?
Today, the sleeping giant of Big Thoughts named Kanye West awoke from his Internet Slumber, dusting off his handy-dandy Macberry in order to tweet the following words: Truth. Beauty. Minimalism. Emotion. Soul. Awesomeness. Functionality.
Personally, I would have ended with "Awesomeness," just to really emphasize the awesomeness of the word "Awesomeness," but then again I'm just some dude in an office, and Kanye West is Kanye West. Why did Kanye tweet these words, and these words specifically, only to fade back into the ether? Is he trying to give us seven precepts to live our lives by? About 90% of me thinks yes, and probably 10% thinks he was just stoned and bored because Kim was out of the house.
Anyways, here's what happened in music news this week that we didn't catch during the week. All of this week's news will be graded on the basis of being more or less interesting than Kanye West's seven tweets.
—KRS-One sat on a beach wearing a weird sweatshirt saying weird things. It was weird, but not as weird as the music video he made about hurricane survival, and way less interesting than Kanye West tweeting seven words.
—Paul Banks put out a mixtape entitled Everybody On My Dick Like They Supposed to Be. I hate that title and want it to die in hot lava, because it speaks to Banks using language that, as a rich white dude, he doesn't really have any right to use ironically. But then again, I don't know Paul Banks and I have no idea if he's actually calling his mixtape that as a joke, or if he actually thinks that releasing a strange mixtape with Madlib-esque beats and a Talib Kweli guest spot will make the entire rap world be on his dick. Either way, the existence of Everybody On My Dick Like They Supposed to Be is more interesting than Kanye West's tweets today, because Paul Banks provided us with 21 tracks of actual music.
—You know who's awesome! George Jones! He's a country singer who'd get horrifically wasted in the name of music, sang beautiful songs about sadness, and once drove a lawnmower to a liquor store because his wife hid the keys to all their cars. Anyways, he's been sober for ten years, and he's about to embark on his final tour. His last concert ever is November 22nd in Nasheville. Tickets will be expensive. While it is sad that George Jones is retiring, I was honestly more excited when Kanye West made the word "Truth" pop up in my TweetDeck.
—Guess who's got the number-one song in the country? Fucking Macklemore. Macklemore is fine, his song is fine, and I bet he and I would get along if we ever met. But still, I am gonna be really sad if he ends up being one of the most influential artists of our time instead of a flash in the pan with a novelty song about a thrift store. Depending on which way this pans out, it is either more or less important than Kanye tweeting seven words.
—George Straight, who much like George Jones is an old white man who sings country songs, sold out a 77,000-capacity Houston stadium in two minutes. Holy fuck. Still care about Kanye more, though.
—According to Questlove, D'Angelo is nearly finished with his next album. He says it's gonna be a classic for the ages, but then again he's working on the thing so he's biased. Even so, I've totally got a nerdboner right now for the prospect of new D'Anglo. Blows Kanye tweeting out of the water.
And that's everything that happened in music news this week! Come back next time, when we report that Macklemore has bedbugs from buying a couch from a Salvation Army in Bushwick.
Drew Millard has tweeted, like, eight words on Twitter - @drewmillard