Donald Trump has gone through a laundry list of performers from all corners of the music world to play his presidential inauguration ceremony in January, from white rocker Vince Neil to white rocker Ted Nugent, and no one would do it. The president-elect may have finally found his artist, though, and it's not a certain rapper who won't be named because fuck that guy at the moment. According to the Associated Press, 16-year-old pop-classical singer Jackie Evancho will be singing the national anthem during the ceremony and your first thought is probably a profound "who???" The short version is that she lost a reality show several years ago and you don't know her. But you do know her. You know her because unconscious ubiquity is the lane of her and many others.
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Evancho's story is as American as it gets: she became a viral sensation in 2010 as a competitor in that season of America's Got Talent. The 10-year-old singing professional operatic soprano was irresistible and she became an instant star via the Facebook shares of delighted parents the nation over. Though Evancho ended up only as a runner-up in the competition, her career as a middle-of-the-road adult contemporary singer followed the same trajectory as her similarly talent show-borne predecessor Susan Boyle. Evancho's first EP, a Christmas album, went platinum and broke records, including the achievement of having Evancho as the youngest solo artist to debut in the Billboard top 10. Two more albums have also placed in those lofty heights.Evancho is definitely a "who?" but that's the point. People love the literal stocking stuffer artists the critical establishment doesn't even consider but are the ones that will always, regularly move albums. Physical ones, too! There is likely more tangible evidence of Evancho's existence in the home of the average, un-Twitterized person than there is of Frank Ocean or Solange, unfortunately. Jackie Evancho is Honey Boo Boo, she is Josh Groban, she is a maker of middle American products to the core and there is no more fitting performer of America's anthem for the president who so thoroughly played middle America to his erratic whims.Of course, much like a viral YouTube video, this is all information that's easily dissolvable and probably doesn't matter in the end. If you take anything away from this, just let it be known that the only person Donald Trump could get to play his inauguration so far is a random, albeit a random with success.Image via Wikimedia Commons.Follow Noisey on Twitter.