The Best Things Kanye West Is Impatiently Waiting For

Kanye West goes to prom. He tells his date, "Hurry up with my damn corsage!" and other things that Kanye West is anxiously waiting for.

I love Kanye West's new album Yeezus, mainly because I still don't quite understand it. It's one of those endlessly dense records where you think about the reason every single sound you hear on the it, especially given that Rick Rubin was tasked with taking every sound out of the album that he possibly could. But despite all of its gravitas and stark politicisms on the part of West, there's still an element of lighthearted corniness to Kanye's lyrics that makes him so damn charming. One of the best examples of this smart-dumb lyricism is in "I am a God," in which Kanye raps, "I am a god/ Hurry up with my damn massage/ Hurry up with my damn ménage/ Get the Porsche out the damn garage," later doing a variation of his joke when he says, "In a French-ass restaurant/ Hurry up with my damn croissants." Earlier today, I started tweeting riffs on these lines, then people started responding to me, and collectively, we took this to the absolute absurd edge of jokedom. Because I was terrified that someone will steal my Twitter meme and use it for their own evil meme means, I made a post about the best things Kanye West is anxiously waiting for.