King Shit: Tyga's Instagram Is the Most Inspiring Place on the Internet

We don’t how to dream only Set Goals.

Apr 25 2014, 8:19pm

On Friday, Tyga's pet tiger was confiscated by wildlife authorities, TMZ reported ("Not so Grrrreat Now"). For wildlife lovers, this may have been a victory, since there is no way that Rack City is the healthiest habitat for a Siberian tiger, but, for fans of Tyga's Instagram, where said tiger was a major fixture, it was a blow. Look at that tiger. It fucking rules, and it's super cute! But don't worry, there is plenty of inspiration to be found among Tyga's pics regardless.

Tyga. T-Raw. @kinggoldchains. Is there a figure in rap today who's more inspiring? Before you say "fuck no, his music has never introduced an original idea and has only ever been good when he stumbles into something that's good because of someone else" consider this: Look at Tyga's Instagram. This shit is pure gold, and part gold chains. There is no way to not look at Tyga's Instagram and not be inspired. So we took it upon ourselves to compile some of the moments that made us dream biggest and feel the most like kings:

This is Tyga bungee jumping, and, more importantly, managing to film a video of himself shouting out “Westside motherfucker” while doing so. This video might be about the least cool a rapper has ever looked, but, then again, my reaction to bungee jumping would probably be way dumber, and I would definitely drop my phone all 60 stories. I'm actually surprised they let him bring his phone out with him: It seems like that would be a real safety hazard for the people below. I am not inspired by Tyga's hair, but I am inspired that Tyga didn't break his phone and also that he got to do something cool like go bungee jumping in New Zealand. T-Rawwwlright.

Seeing this photo makes me think one thing and one thing only: Blog. As someone who spends all my time writing dumb stuff on the Internet, the reality is that I'm never going to reach Tyga levels of success. But there is some hope, when I see Tyga typing up a storm (call him Typa), that maybe Tyga will come down to my level, and we'll both be seen as equally valid presences in the pantheon of blogging. That's the kind of thing that gets me through the day.

Look at that hat. Now look at those bags of weed. Those bags of weed are the size of a human head. If that's not inspiring I don't know what is.

“Lasagna city bitch, lasagna-sagna city bitch” - Tyga, as Garfield, 2008.

One thing I respect about Tyga is that he recognizes that taste evolves. For instance, a lot of people start out thinking that never in a million years will they respect someone who asks people to call him T-Rawww. But gradually, over time, those people might realize that every once in a while Tyga manages to bluff his way onto a song that's far better than it has any right to be, considering that Tyga is on it. That, my friends, is progression. Forgive yourself for 2008 (the number of terrible high-top shoes and fitted hats I have from then requires truly divine sympathy), and move on.

If it's on a fortune cookie, it must be true. Kind of a dick move to post this on Instagram, though. We get it, Tyga, you are lucky. We saw the Lambo in the last picture. The fortune cookie is kind of rubbing it in. Nonetheless, this does inspire me to maybe get some Chinese food for dinner tonight. That sounds pretty delicious.

Dude, Miró is one of my favorite artists, so I have to hand it to Tyga for repping the guy. I mean, Picasso, that's obvious. Jay Z talks about Picasso. But Tyga, he is a man of taste, which is why he's out here into your moderately more obscure Spanish surrealists like Miró. Do you think this is Tyga's living room? It must be, right? Like, where else would there be an Egyptian-style statue and an all-white set of furniture and baby grand piano alongside this art? In which case, Tyga's living room actually looks pretty cool. When I was in high school, we had this really weird mall in my town that was half horribly shitty low-end department stores but also half art galleries (it was trying to rebrand as upscale and did, and now it sucks). One of the art galleries had a few Picasso drawings for sale for, like, $5,000, which I thought was incredibly cool (because how could a Picasso end up in North Carolina?! I didn't consider that dude must have literally thousands and thousands of drawings), and I definitely said, in that pretentious high school way, that if I had $5,000 right then I would blow it all on a Picasso. Shouts out to Tyga for living my dream.

Related: Is this Tyga's personal bathroom? I can't imagine he just stumbled across this. Anyway, I like that it is shit that a king would have and also literally a king-related place to shit. Good use of that hashtag, Tyga. You make me dream of shitting like a king.

Look at the angles of this Lamborghini. First off, they’re incredible. It’s like if the Batmobile and Wonder Woman’s invisible jet had a baby. Secondly, have you ever said a sentence like that before? “Hey, look at the angles of this car.” It doesn’t make sense, because that’s something you’ll never think about because you’ll be trying to make sure you have enough change to vacuum your Honda Civic. Tyga doesn’t fuck with Honda Civics. Tyga only fucks with angled cars. And the fact that he’s stoically standing next to it wearing gold shoes—I just don’t know, man. I want this life. I want it now.

I can’t tell if he’s yawning in this photo or not, but it kind of seems like it. Because, fuck, Tyga is so inspired by art that he’s bored. Either that, or he’s just jaw-droppingly amazed. To be honest, I like that second option better because throughout examining Tyga’s Instagram, I really feel like this guy genuinely loves the shit out of everything he posts. He’s not doing this to seem “smarter” or “more cultured,” he just thinks this is a super impressive painting. Also, shouts to commenter tygabruh. We hope he notices you too.

This is the most baller photo of all time. I cannot think of a funny or clever way to describe other than that, and I recognize that’s not very funny. But seriously. There’s Tyga, sitting on a gold chair between what appears to be two statues that look like they’re out of an Egyptian tomb. Legs crossed. Eyebrows furrowed. Inspired. Inspiring me.

This is the most “We Made It” moment of Tyga’s entire Instagram experience. Don’t know if I’d trust Justin Bieber to hold my kid though.

Let’s just not talk about the fact that Tyga is standing before a private jet, preparing himself to fly to fucking Japan or something, and take a moment to step back and examine the holy shitness of the caption. “I don’t how to dream only Set Goals.” Typo aside, this is something I plan telling myself every morning when I wake up for the rest of my life. #SetGoals

Kyle Kramer and Eric Sundermann are the second-to-last and third-to-last kings, respectively. They're on Twitter - @kylekramer & @ericsundy


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