FYI.

This story is over 5 years old.

Music

Noisey's Favorite Songs About Hair

There are way too many songs about love. Songs about hair? Not so much. But the ones that exist are pretty great, culturally major, and kinda sexy too.

Musicians, we salute you. Along with the long-term unemployable and philosopher hermits, society dictates that musicians are allowed to let their hair grow free and true and styled like topiary, if they so desire. Musicians sometimes write songs about hair, probably when they've spent too much time in the mirror, and the only thing better than hair, is music about hair. Music-themed hair: not so good.

Advertisement

10. Willow Smith - "Whip My Hair"
Nine year olds don't know a lot about hair. But Willow Smith wants to whip you with it. Oh, whoops, she just wants to whip it. A little like Salt-n-Pepa's "Push It," but without the raunch. The video takes place in some kind of futuristic mental institution where the inmates are shocked into life thanks to Willow's whiplash-inducing moves.

The song gathered a lot criticism and critical attention, and then she shaved all her hair off and exited the public eye when her dad tried to put her on Broadway. She's 12 now. She'll be back, no doubt, 'cos she's a Smith, but for now we hope she's busy doing what other normal preteens should be doing, i.e. studying math and not plotting world domination.

9. Bright Eyes - "Pull My Hair"
We couldn't use the Ying Yang Twins' song, "Pull My Hair," due to the graphic nature of the song, so we thought it would be appropriate to replace it with a tune of the same name. Bright Eyes' song is nowhere near as intense as the Ying Yang Twins' effort, but it also hints at hair-pulling-during-sexual-activity. Only with a lot more Conor Oberst. Pulling hair, but gently.

8. Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young - "I Almost Cut My Hair"
Back in the 60s, men with long hair were routinely singled out for ridicule, abuse, and occasionally burned like witches. I know, crazy right? CSNY were a collective of such longhairs. Check out these lovely locks.

Advertisement

"I Almost Cut My Hair" is Neil Young's meditation on whether or not to cut his hair and lose his free spirit because of the external pressures coming down on him from THE MAN. I guess he didn't. Go Neil!

7. Beck - "Devil's Haircut"
Beck takes a freewheeling, associative word journey through "Devil's Haircut." What can we take from it? The fashion world is tyrannical! The pressure to conform is overwhelming! The fact of the matter is, we don't care what Beck is talking about. The devil's haircut could well be the mullet he's sporting in the video. That's good enough for us. Thanks, Beck.

6. Graham Central Station – "Hair"
There was a time, boys and girls—gather round, you at the back—when the style of your hair was beyond a fashion statement, it could be a potent racial divider too. So when bassist Larry Graham led his NY band with an enormous afro wobbling up on his head, it was necessary to introduce it. "Hair" sparkles with wit and sarcasm, while mounting a robust defense of hippy ideals: aren't we all more than how we choose to style our follicles? "I just don't believe its fair/ To judge a man by the length of his hair," he sang back in 1974 and he's quite right too.

But if you think we've actually evolved since then, check out Chris Rock's 2009 documentary, Good Hair. We're still ruled by the same nonsensical cultural tyrannies, and Chris explores this fallacy of natural afro hair being bad and straight white hair being good, in this flick. You should watch it.

Advertisement

Anyway, the message in "Hair" is thrust home with a wild dog snarl of a bassline, frantically snapping at your heels while somehow peeing on your pant leg. Take notes, young Willow: sometimes just whipping it just ain't enough.

5. Japandroids - "Wet Hair"
Over the past few years you may have noticed a proliferation of models in shoots and on catwalks with "wet look" hair. We're not sure why the fashion world has decided to popularize this fad because it looks kinda greasy and wet hair feels icky and cold and damp. No thanks. Japandroids aren't into wet look hair either. They're into actually wet hair. They're utterly unable to resist the powerful sexual appeal of a woman with damp locks. Though most guys would have a hard time resisting the powerful sexual appeal of just about anything, hair no hair, wet or dry…

4. Hunx - "Hairdresser Blues"
On top of being the notoriously gay garage diva Hunx, Seth Bogart owns his own vintage hair salon and record shop called Down at Lulu's in Oakland, CA. Bogart is not only singing the "Hairdresser Blues," but he is living the modern day version of a beauty school dropout. Dealing with the daily existential quandaries of a barber, as well as a punk rocker, is nothing short of a commendable.

3. Animal Collective - "Bluish"
Animal Collective have been busy. They've been busy doing other things than just writing music. In this video they show us that they've worked out how to grow a girl out of a tank of UV frogspawn. Think Weird Science, but more indie. This is Avey Tare's love song about a babe and every awesome aspect of her, with special attention to the alluring qualities of her hair.

Advertisement

"I'm getting lost in your curls," he sings. Every time he strays off topic—he spends a while discussing the merits of said girl's stockings and eye shadow—he just can't stop obsessing about her hair. "Back to the time I touched your hair," he opines. This was clearly an extremely erotic, sensory explosion of an experience for Avey.

2. Hair - "Hair"
"Hair" makes the list because it's an anthem of liberation for 60s counter-culture kids to grow their hair out. It also makes the list because of the sheer number of times the lyrics mention hair in relation to any other song in existence. The characters Claude and Berger sing extensively about long hair in all its forms and also suggest that hair can be a home for fleas (ew), bees (dangerous), and that you could probably fashion a toga out of hair too (maverick). Forty-odd years later and hairdresser Charlie Mindu did just that. Kudos.

1. Pavement - "Cut Your Hair"
In the Smashing Pumpkins documentary, Vieuphoria, drummer Jimmy Chamberlain laments the fact that guitarist James Iha cut his hair "just as I was growing mine out." Pavement hate The Smashing Pumpkins. "Cut Your Hair" is about other bands too, though. I mean, "Did you see the drummer's hair?"

Ultimately, you can't cut the hair off of the musician, which is to say, he/she is still going to be unreliable and flaky (probably), even with a Marines-issue buzz cut. Pavement succeed in having the best song about hair, ever. It relates hair and its importance to the greater worlds of fashion, music, and life while also being more addictive than Cheetos. Good job, Pavement. You win.

Style Stage is an ongoing partnership between Noisey & Garnier Fructis celebrating music, hair, and style.