Vin Diesel's Greatest Musical Moments
America's finest actor is also America's finest song-and-dance man.
It is without a shadow of a doubt that Vin Diesel is America's finest actor. He has appeared in such beloved films as The Fast and the Furious, Fast and Furious, Fast Five, Fast and Furious 6, XXX, and that one movie about crooked stockbrokers that also had Ben Affleck in it. On top of that, he looks like a giant hairless pro wrestler and seems to be the nicest dude on the planet. He will also sing pretty much whatever at the drop of a fucking hat. Above is a recent clip of Vin in which he belts out Sam Smith's "Stay with Me" like he was goddamn Sinatra, despite claiming to have never heard the song before. It is incredible, because Vin Diesel is incredible. After watching the video five times in a row and crying every single time, I decided to put together a handy-dandy internet list of Vin Diesel's finest musical moments. Please watch and enjoy this carefully-curated selection of YouTube videos.
VIN DIESEL SINGS RIHANNA'S "STAY"
This is basically The Godfather of Vin Diesel singing videos, the one in which he flexed not just the muscles in his body, but the muscle that is his beautiful voice. Marvel as Vin goes in, his voice warbling with emotion and pathos. His movies might be fast and furious, but his cover of "Stay" is slow and tender.
VIN DIESEL DANCES ALONE TO KATY PERRY AND BEYONCÉ
Why is the sky blue? Why must men die? Where did Bobby Shmurda's hat land after he threw it in the air? Why did Vin Diesel record a seven-minute video of him dancing to Katy Perry and Beyoncé and then post it on his Facebook with the caption, "You know I love music..."? Some questions we'll just never know the answers to.
VIN DIESEL LIP-SYNCS "KNOCK YOU DOWN" ALONE IN HIS APARTMENT
Just Vin bein' Vin!
VIN DIESEL SINGS "THE CHRISTMAS SONG" AGAIN, ALONE IN HIS APARTMENT
At this point, you may find yourself asking, "Does Vin Diesel have any friends? Or does he just sit around in his apartment singing and dancing in front of his computer?" Trick question. The computer is his friend. Have some respect, SMH.
VIN DIESEL WRITES A MOVIE WHERE HIS CHARACTER SINGS "IF I ONLY HAD A HEART" FROM THE WIZARD OF OZ
If you ever ask Vin Diesel if he is a song and dance man he'll flip over that table you keep all your weak-ass Pokémon cards on and just scream "BEEN!" at the top of his lungs, because you're a mark-ass punk who doesn't know the history of the bald Dean Martin.
VIN DIESEL WHISTLES IN THE RAIN
I'm pretty sure this is a super half-assed version of Vin trying to whistle while doing the "Singin' in the Rain" dance, but I don't want to say this is because Vin might kick my ass for being wrong.
VIN DIESEL FOOTAGE IS SPLICED UP AND MADE TO LOOK LIKE A MUSIC VIDEO FOR LIMP BIZKIT'S "MY WAY"
Hope your Oakleys are strapped the fuck to your face, peckerhead, because this fan-made video splicing Limp Bizkit's "My Way" and footage of Vin Diesel in The Fast and the Furious is about to blow the Aeropostale boxer-briefs right off your dick.
Drew Millard is the leading Vin Diesel scholar on the internet and is currently ghostwrting Diesel's autobiography. He's on Twitter - @drewmillard