50 Things That Are Definitely, 100 Percent Confirmed PUNK
Photo by Darren Robb for Getty
Yesterday, Virgin Money announced that they had teamed up with The Sex Pistols for a series of credit cards themed around the legendary UK punk band. Naturally, this lead to some irate folks crying sell out. It even prompted Esquire to put together a roundup of the least punk things ever. But what things are punk, you might be asking. Good question. As the definitive source of punk, Noisey is glad to give you this list of 50 things that are definitely, 100 percent confirmed PUNK.
Doing Mosh Dances
Uh oh, if you’re brave enough to get into the slam pit, better watch out for stage surfers! See you on the pit!
Yeah, we know what they say: Punk’s Not Dad. But somebody’s gotta pick you up from the big punk rock concert!
The Guy from Sons of Anarchy
Whoever this guy is, he’s killing it!
A cool vest + patches + buttons + stickers = punk
The iconic Ramone, founder of punk rock.
A Sale at Hot Topic
The buy one get one half off band shirt deal, combined with Stef’s employee discount? Yeah baby!
Making Bill Payments on Time
Getting hit with interest rates and late fees? Scr-w off to that!
Purchasing an Expensive, Yet Conservative Wristwatch
Timeless style for timeless punks.
The Misfits Bobblehead
It’s like you’re asking him, “Are The Misfits punk as heck?” and he’s nodding back, “Yes, yes, rock the casbah!”
Good music, good business practices, good times.
What could possibly be more punk than calling your best bud to tell ‘em happy birthday!
Oh man! It’s David! Everybody loves David.
Working at a Data Recovery Center
Computers break all the time, guys. Help out your community.
Not Needing a Guarantor
What could possibly be better than being fiscally responsible and not dependent? Beats us!
The rules are there for a reason, guys! Let’s try to be respectful, okay?
That bassline? That’s all kinds of punk. Serenity now!
Music (at a Reasonable Volume)
Hey, buddy, we love music as much as the next Joe Punk but not so loud, huh?
Nothin’ but net! Nothing’s more punk than winning the big game.
The Adventures of Milo and Otis
Lookin’ sharp, punkers!
The ultimate punk! RIP
23 hilarious pieces of rebellion we can’t stop clicking on!
Discharge - Hear Nothing See Nothing Say Nothing
It’s impossible to have a conversation about punk without mentioning UK’s Discharge. Though in a way, Discharge transcended punk, breaking free of the traditions that confined them. Their minimalist drumming style was so distinctive and recognizable that future imitators called it “d-beat” as an homage to Discharge. This style would make them progenitors of black metal, thrash metal, grindcore, crustpunk, and every other genre that tried in vain to copy the original. Their 1982 album Hear Nothing See Nothing Say Nothing is a timeless, indisputable classic, the rock upon which all modern anarchist music is based.
Being honest about your feelings is the punkest thing of all.
Lots of cool stuff on there!
There’s nothing more essential to punk than The DIY. You have to be doing DIYing at all times. Make DIY at home, have DIY in the park, do DIY everywhere, man!
This punk duo has been cranking out punk hits since the 70s.
They let you poop there for free!
Rancid, DMB, Dead Kennedy, CBGB. Love to jam out to some punk tunes B^)
Everyone has their limits, guys. Sometimes you just need to stick up your index finger and say, “Hey, beat it, jerk!”
Doctor Martin invented them in 1800, and now you can protect your feet.
Woah, looks cool over there!
Don’t really know what this is, but hey! Can’t go wrong with it if it involves punk!
St. Mark’s Place
Mark the Evangelist (Latin: Mārcus; Greek: Μᾶρκος; Coptic: Μαρκοϲ; Hebrew: מרקוס) is the traditionally ascribed author of the Gospel of Mark. Mark is said to have founded the Church of Alexandria, one of the most important episcopal sees of Early Christianity. His feast day is celebrated on April 25, and his symbol is the winged lion.
Screw the government! Go out and elect representatives who are going to thoughtfully weigh the issues and enact reasonable laws.
They have so much to teach us about the world. An educated punk is a dangerous punk. Knowledge is power.
George W. Bush
He brought democracy to the Middle East. Pretty punk if you ask us. Up the punx, Mr. President!
Siri, what is punk… I’m feeling lucky!
He likes H2O, AND he has a lot of tattoos!
Jared Leto as The Joker
Why so serious?
Calvin Peeing on Stuff
This little rapscallion’s always up to trouble! Couldn’t be more punk if he tried.
A Clean Shave and a Haircut
Have you been to Jeff’s Barber Shop on Fourth? Stop in and ask for Geoff. Tell ‘em we sent ya!
Getting sick is not punk at all. Make sure to visit your doctor and pick up the right medications if you’re feeling a little under the weather.
Punk is about options.
Great for keeping out the bugs! No wonder so many punk rockers love this stuff.
Taxi Driver 
DeNiro didn’t even get the Academy Award for this? Baloney! Um, Earth to film jerks, he had a mohawk!
Tattoos (a.k.a “Tatts”)
Ouch! Hurts to be so punk.
Skate or die! (But wear a helmet and be safe out there, okay?)
Fall Out Boy/Pete Wentz
Really gotta give it up for Pete, you guys.
The Man………………………………………………… NOT!