The Vans of Falls Festival 2016

This article originally appeared on Noisey Australia.

Getting to a festival in style is crucial. So is looking awesome at your campsite. Except at Falls Festival in Australia, where derelict military vehicles seem all the rage.

People drive some weird shit to festivals. It’s part of the adventure—like dressing up as a hot dog or flying the ultimate obscure-reference flag. For that reason you can read a lot about a festival by the sort of vans it attracts.

Partygoers at Falls Festival in Tasmania seem to have a thing for salt-of-the-earth shaggin’ wagons. They’re the vans that appear throughout Easy Rider, or Wolf Creek, and they barely get through the gate without breaking down. Given that they’re a bit more tent than vehicle, we wanted to understand why people love them so much. So we spent New Year’s afternoon walking around, asking Falls punters for a guided tour.

Jack, 19, and Hayley, 19

Noisey: Hey guys, what have we got here?
Jack: A ’73 Holden Panel Van, black.

Does it have a name?
Yep, Bong on Wheels

Tell us about it?
It’s where happiness and candy comes free.

I’m guessing Bong on Wheels got a bit of attention from the police getting in?
Hayley: We got a bit of attention from the cops but love, happiness, and free candy were all the dogs could detect.

What’s the best thing about it?
The bed in the back! Sheets get changed maybe once a week, it depends on how many victims we have.

So is this a crime scene or a place of love, I’m confused?
Jack: It’s a love bus. Beautiful can’t be spoken about in words. Wow, that’s pretty devoted. Do you consider this van your first love, or Hayley?
I take the Shaggin’ Wagon! She’s definitely my girl.
Hayley: I accept that.

Your thoughts Hayley?
I would choose the Shaggin’ Wagon too. Metal and glass over ass.

Where are you heading after the festival?
Upper Scamanda, we’ve got a place up there

Wasn’t a girl murdered there a while back?
Yeah, a girl was stabbed and found on the beach. They never found who did it.

Do you have your own suspicions?
The cops suspect someone down the road from me.

Scary. Ok, be safe up there.

Chole Wright, 23, and Alex Bresner, 24

Noisey: Talk us through what you’ve got going on here
Alex: It’s a 1984 VW Transporter camper. I got it from my Pop and it went around Australia and got a bit old so we inherited it. It broke down going through security.

Was this a problem?
No, it was great. They asked is there anything we can do? And I was all just wave us through, and they were like righto, righto, get going.

Is that the worst thing about it?
No, it’s that we’re still at cassette level. We need a CD player.

And what’s the best thing?
All the memories.

Tom and Joe Gauden, both 18

Noisey: Why is your van so important to you?
All the boys get around it. I think it started at the 2005 festival and it has been to every Falls since. I’ll have this for generations, I just know it.

Aside from history what makes it so special?
I christened it the other day.
Joe: He left a shit on the roof.

What?
The family christening. Just means you take a shit on the roof and let it cook in the sun.

That’s pretty gross. Do you christian vans often?
Tom: I’ve done a few in my time, when the family’s not watching. Yesterday he was with some chick and I was there, just squatting on the roof.
Joe: Being a twin is the best.

Laura and Maya, 18

Noisey: Whose van is this?
I’m driving but it’s my Dad’s. We share it.

What do you love about the van?
I feel like I’m at home. I have a bed, I have a fan, I have a pop-top roof. It’s literally a house on wheels.

Can you love a car more than a person?
I definitely love my van more than I love my ex-boyfriend.

Billy, 23

Noisey: Hi Billy, what is this?
It’s an ex-army truck. It’s a troop carrier

Are you in the Army?
Fuck no. I live on a farm and we grow poppies. We bought this to turn it into a fire truck, but we found a better fire truck, so now it’s a great Falls truck.

Why is it good for Falls?
It’s great for when you lose your mate because you can see it for miles. Aside from that it’s not very useful.

Jordan, 28

Noisey: Hey Jordan, tell me about your car.
This is Sandy. She’s a 1982 Land Rover Series 3. 2.3L Petrol. I have a matching one with my Dad. It’s perfect. Do you think you were born to have a Landy?
It was inevitable. I love them.

What do you love?
I love that there is no superfluous shit in these cars. You can even turn this into a tank!

Really?
Yeah, you can get tank tracks for them.

Are you planning on doing this?
Absolutely. You can even turn it into a hovercraft.

Wow, is it for sale? What do you know about its past?
A Queensland banana farmer bought it in 1982, he used it as his main farm vehicle for 10-15 years. Then it went to Port Stephens and then somehow came to Tassie, where it sat for two years in a paddock, growing grass and moss before I picked it up.

Any treasure in here?
Yeah, I’ve got two fur seal jaws. I got these up the coast.

Is this true love?
I am totally in love with it. Sandy is the most reliable girl in my life. She’s not crazy, she’s always there for me and likes adventures. She’s my shelter, my house, my castle, my freedom. I know it’s bad to fall in love with a material possession but fuck it, Sandy makes me happy.