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Music

A Pastor Wanted Nicki Minaj's Ass, And Now He Has an Ass Full of Problems

Think before you comment, especially if you're a man of God publicly airing your fantasies before millions on social media.
Screenshot von Instagram/nickiminaj

This article originally appeared on Noisey Germany.

Even back in biblical times, people were told to drink water but consumed wine instead. Nothing about that has improved in the internet age. Back then, only the people who were hanging out on a mountain with you at the same time would witness your debauchery, whereas the whole world can theoretically listen in today. Even worse, they can tweet about it.

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A pastor from Memphis, Tennessee, learned this the hard way. He wasn't thirsty for wine, rather; he was too thirsty for Nicki Minaj's ass, which promptly incurred the modern equivalent of the Spanish Inquisition through Twitter trolls.

His suffering was triggered by Minaj's Instagram post above, which he commented on with the not-so Christian words, "I'll love to eat your booty @nickiminaj". As expected, Minaj has so far declined to comment on the matter, and—predictably so—the pastor's post was deleted. But the internet is always watching and ready to incur God's wrath via screenshots, which made the suffering of Dewberry_2017 just as profound.

Even before the crowing of the third rooster or retweet, the self-proclaimed "God-fearing man and pastor," as his Instagram profile reads, took to Facebook to defend his completely natural but fairly un-Christian impulses. "Someone created a fake profile in my name. I don't know who did it, but it needs to be taken down ASAP."

If he's telling the truth, and Elder William Henry Dewberry III actually adhered to the Eighth Commandment, "Thou Shalt Not Lie," and the Sixth Commandment, "Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor's Wife," then whoever made the fake profile has been doing a pretty damn good job for the past year and a half. The account features photos of the pastor with his his relatives and friends that date back to January 2016—which is quite a lot of effort invested just to write a few horny comments under a fake username, no?

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Dewberry, who is listed as one of the pastors in the "Church of God in Christ" community in Memphis, isn't only under fire from anonymous commenters, but also from his own Facebook friends. Several of them aren't accepting his version of the story:

Screenshot von Facebook

Instead of dewberry_2017, he argues that dewberryinstagram is actually his real Instagram account; the latter is private, which makes it difficult to verify. Whether it truly was a fake profile or the pastor was lying, there's only one entity who can judge him on the final day: God. But until then, the Twitter community is happy to take care of all his earthly shaming.

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Translated by Meredith Balkus.