The Noisey Editors' Best and Worst of 2015: Dan Ozzi

PLEASE SKIP THIS PART

Every year, I start these things off by mentioning how incredibly stupid I think year-end lists are. I did it last year. I did it the year before that. But you know what? I’m gonna flip the script this year. Sure, year-end lists are incredibly stupid and the only people who care about them are publicists and jagoff music writers who only write to impress their small circle of fellow jagoff music writer friends with their Very Correct Opinions about music. But, if nothing else, these lists give me a sense of closure for another year gone by. So, without further adieu, dear people who are killing time on their phones while waiting to use the bathroom at Waffle House, here is some stuff I listened to this year in no particular order. Maybe you also listened to this stuff. Maybe you listened to an entirely different list of stuff. The important thing is that I don’t care.

(Please note that I have adhered to this very helpful set of rules some genius wrote about how to make a year-end list.)

Good-Ass Album That I’ve Been Talking Up All Year and Don’t Have Much Left to Say About It but I’d Still Recommend It

Hop Along – Painted Shut

Noisey’s official number eight album of 2015 for a reason. Here’s a video I "produced" of Frances playing “Buddy in the Parade” acoustically in a mural warehouse. (They make me stick these kinds of things in here. In the blogging biz, it’s called “content reactivation” and it’s very, very cool):

Same as Above. Extremely Good-Ass Album That I Don’t Have Much Else to Say at This Point Other Than It’s Great

Beach Slang – The Thing We Do to Find People Who Feel Like Us

One of Noisey’s five artists of 2015 for a reason. Here’s a little video we made before they put the album out for the first episode of a segment called “Noisey Next.” (Hell yeah, I am seamlessly reactivating this ‘tent, baby.) That’s my dumb voice in it and I guess I ruined it because we haven’t done a second episode and probably never will:

Album I Waited on for Like a Decade and Then Kind of Forgot About but Then It Came Out and Blew Me Away

Desaparecidos – Payola

I’m not a giant Conor Oberst nerd or nothing like that. I like the guy, I think he’s becoming a legacy artist, and I believe this album to be the best sophomore album that took 13 years to be released of all time. Favorite album of the year, I'd say.

Album That Saved Me from Having a Minor Breakdown One Day This Year

Sports – All of Something

You know those days you wake up for work and think "I can't do this. I cannot face the filth bucket that is humanity today?" I had one of those this summer and instead of going to an office, I hopped a train to the beach, and sat there all day alone, doing nothing but enjoying the sun and the ocean and listening to this album. I will forever hear it and tie it to that memory. I highly advise you to force yourself off your daily path once in a while. Don't tweet about it or instagram it. Let it be yours. And maybe take this album with you.

Song Title That Makes Me Laugh Uncontrollably Every Time I Hear It

Des Ark – “You Pregnant Motherfucker”

Aimée Argote (a.k.a. Des Ark) put out a cool album this year that I admittedly should’ve listened to more, but every so often, this song comes on and I laugh for the rest of the day about it. There’s something about the cadence of these three words that tickles me just right.

Hip-Hop Album That I Put on Here to Sound Well-Rounded and Deeper Than What I Actually Am, Which Is an Emo Punk Nerd Boy Dipshit

Heems – Eat Pray Thug

The ex-Das Racist dude drops the native New Yorker anthem: “I’m so New York I still don’t bump Tupac.”

Wait, Am I About to Put a Leftöver Crack Album on This List? Yo, I Think I’m About to Put a Leftöver Crack Album on This List Holy Shit…

Leftöver Crack – Constructs of the State

If you’d told me at the start of this year that I’d be adding the new Leftöver Crack album to this list, I’d have laughed you right back to St. Mark’s Place circa 2004. But, well, here we are. This album is the surprise of the year for me. It’s weird in a way most albums fail to be weird.

Album of Cover Songs That I Listened to More Than Most Regular Albums

Murder by Death – As You Wish, Volume 2

Murder by Death is one of the only bands--if not the only band--whose album release dates I will mark on my calendar, not only because I know I’ll be getting a solid, textured record (which they delivered this year with Big Dark Love) but because of this new trend where they release a coinciding bonus album of cover songs for their Kickstarter backers. I am straight-up EMBARRASSED to tell you how many times I’ve listened to some of these--The Talking Heads, Neko Case, Van Morrison, Smokey Robinson. The play count would make you puke on yourself.

(Also, honorable mention to that little Beach Slang covers EP which included that sweet-ass version of “Too Much Kissing.”)

Album I Listened to For Exactly One Week in the Gym and Then Immediately Lost Interest in

Dr. Dre – Compton

I also didn’t see the N.W.A movie. I only saw Mad Max and ended up interviewing the dude who played the flame-throwing guitar.

Best Album Cover That Features Chris Farren in a Suit with Two Large Dogs on It

Pet Symmetry – Pets Hounds

Tough competition this year in this prestigious category but I’ve got to give the honor to Pet Symmetry for their Chris Farren-with-hounds cover. This is also a great album that packs a sweet one-two punch, which I am always fond of. Chris also put out an Antarctigo Vespucci record this year and don’t forget his Christmas album this holiday season, baby! (He PayPals me five dollars every time I plug his albums but then I have to pay him every time I say “baby!” which he trademarked so I guess it evened out, b*by!)

A Good-Ass Demo

G.L.O.S.S.

I heard this back in January and have listened to it once a day since. By the powers of math, that means I’ve listened to it… let’s see… uh [makes horrible life choice to become music writer as a result of having no math skills]… like, at least 30 times.

A Good-Ass EP

Alex Winston – The Day I Died

These are my three favorite songs from Alex Winston’s forthcoming album (which I have heard already because I am a Very Important Music Man). One is a slow break-up jam, one feels like a nod to Springsteen, and one is a straight-up perfect pop song.

Another Good-Ass EP

Empty Houses – Empty Houses

I don’t know anything about the band Fireworks but some people from that band have another band called Empty Houses that released this Motown-sound EP and let’s be honest with ourselves, Motown is better than pop punk.

The Music Thing I Gave the Absolute Least of a Shit About

That whole Ryan Adams covering Taylor Swift bullshit. No interest whatsoever. I actually had anti-interest if that’s possible.

Album That My Best Friend Kept Pushing on Me and I’m Honestly Wondering if She’s OK

Marilyn Manson – The Pale Emperor

Seriously, she has no previous history of being interested in Marilyn Manson or anything like Marilyn Manson. Is that normal? For a person to suddenly take an interest in Marilyn Manson in their 30s? Should I be worried about her?

Best Album by Someone Who Lives Within Walking Distance from My House

Jeff Rosenstock – We Cool?

Just beating out that nail salon down the block and that sketchy deli that I'm pretty sure is just a mafia front.

Most Self-Aware Album

Father John Misty – I Love You, Honeybear

Thank you, White Jesus.

Release That Actually Came Out on December 30 of Last Year but Cut Me a Fucking Break, I’m Including It Anyway

Crazy & the Brains – Good Lord

Designated Guy-With-an-Acoustic-Guitar-Singing-Sad-Songs Album

Sam Russo – Greyhound Dreams

I Can’t Really Think of Other Quirky Titles to Give Out but Here Are Some More Things I Listened to and Enjoyed Worriers – Imaginary Life

Night Birds – Mutiny at Muscle Beach

Laura Stevenson – Cocksure

Super Unison – Super Unison

And a Few More (Look, I Have Had a Busy Year and Am Very Tired of Listing Albums for Your Perusal, OK?)

War on Women – War on Women

Sannhet – Revisionist

Soda Bomb – Wanna Jam?

Envy – Atheist’s Cornea

toyGuitar – In This Mess

Like, What Do You Think I Am, Some Sort of List-Making Monkey? That’s Demeaning and Offensive to Me but Here Are Some More, You Goddamn Vultures

Drakulas – OWOWOWOWOWOWOW

Lightning Bolt – Fantasy Empire

Mutoid Man – Bleeder

Meat Wave – Delusion Moon

Worst Year-End List

As always, this one. See you next year.

Did you bond with me on a truly profound level over our shared music tastes? Fantastic, you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram to see what whacky musical adventures I get myself into next year.

Oh and here, look, I've half-assed you a playlist: