Yes, 2017 is going to be worse than anything we've experienced in the last 12 months. If you thought having a hateful sack of insecurities as president-elect was unpleasant, wait until he's running the country from White House North. More beloved artists will die. The planet will continue to warm. Things will descend further into chaos. 2016 was just the car battery to the testicles, shocking us awake and into a frightening awareness of our fresh new Hell.Nonetheless, there was something perfect about Mariah Carey's performance in Times Square for Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve last night. Beset with technical difficulties immediately—no soundcheck and a lack of lip sync tracks seem to be the culprits—Carey spends a good seven minutes strutting across the stage and providing the audience with a running commentary on the unfolding disaster.
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She owns the whole situation so completely that it's impossible to see this all as anything but a triumph. "That was… AMAZING," she says at the end of the track, her words dripping with a sarcasm so thick that it'd seep through a TV screen. It's the perfect musical reflection of the year 2016, a "fuck this, I'm done" for the ages.May all appropriate deities bless and keep Mariah Carey.Follow Noisey on Twitter.