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Insane Clown Posse’s Violent J Pens Slightly Confused, Oddly Insightful Op-Ed for ‘Time’ About Wave of Violent Clowns

ICP, “unquestionably… The World’s Most Hated Band,” want you to know who the REAL clowns are.

Violent' J's new op-ed for Time-wait, let's stop there for a second.

Violent J, one half of fabled Evangelical shock-rap duo Insane Clown Posse, wrote an op-ed for Time yesterday afternoon​. He did this ostensibly because there is a new wave of "killer clowns" terrifying people across the United States of America and even Stephen King, the man almost solely responsible for our collective coulrophobia, gives precisely no fucks at all.

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The piece is an interesting combination of defiance, self-aggrandizement, anti-establishment sentiment, good intentions, and, well, eloquence. It chops between the first, second, and third persons without warning. It's awkwardness possesses an odd poetry. Let's jump in.

It opens up with a wildly overblown statement wrapped up in a world-weary shug, one that ICP have been plugging away at for a while: "After 25 years of unquestionably being The World's Most Hated Band, Insane Clown Posse has just about seen it all." This is untrue, no matter how much Violent J wants it to be. Insane Clown Posse are not the most hated band in the world. Three bands come to the top of my head immediately that are more hated than ICP: Nickleback, Train, Creed. Done.

(If you're asking me why the government hasn't taken steps to declare Creed fans a violent gang, I honestly couldn't tell you. But if anyone over at the FBI is reading this, I swear Creed fans are horribly dangerous people.)

It's a slow-burner for a little while. The set-up moves slowly, tip-toeing around its thesis. "When TIME asked us for our opinion on this wave of so-called "killer clown" sightings that seem to be popping up all over America, we were intrigued," writes J. He remembers a set of clown sightings in his own youth, "way back in 1981" when he and Shaggy 2 Dope were still kids. Shit sounds scary.

And then, as if from nowhere, the bomb drops:

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"ICP has discovered over the last decade, there's a whole army of scary, terrifying and dangerous clowns out there in this country trying to suppress the rights of thousands of people to exercise the most basic part of the Declaration of Independence, which evokes the freedom to 'Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.' The only difference is these clowns don't wear greasepaint."

Now just holy fucking shit. I feel warm on the inside thinking about Violent J getting an email from Time, being asked about clowns in America today, and muttering to himself, "Well, we all know who the real clowns are."

The instinct, obviously, is to dismiss this whole thing as absurd and nonsensical and self-interested and, yeah, there's some of that. But here's a moment of eloquence for you:

These clowns threaten the very fabric on which our nation was supposedly founded upon—and for some f—ing crazy-a– reason, they're getting away with it. From keystone-cop clowns shooting unarmed citizens, to racist clowns burning down Islamic centers or clowns in the NSA spying on us through our cell phones and laptops, America has turned into something far more terrifying than Insane Clown Posse's Dark Carnival. Even a scrub like me who dropped out of school in ninth grade can see what's going on. Today's reality is scarier than anything you'll ever hear on one of our albums.

From there, J gets mad about the Juggalos being named in the FBI's National Gang Threat Assesment, something he's quite rightly mad about. He tries to circle back on himself by bringing in his sweeping social criticisms along with the more pointed pro-Juggalo, pro-ICP vibe.

Which doesn't work perfectly. Of course it doesn't. But Violent J is getting at something here, about the nature of fear and the importance we place on uncomfortable images rather than sinister values. It's worth reading the whole thing in full, frustrating though the little flashes of insight might be, just to say you did. Do so here​.

​Lead photo via ICP on Instagram.​