Holy Shit, Kanye And Kim Kardashian Are Having A Baby

In case you were wondering, this has everything to do with the Illuminati.

If you didn't already know, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are dating and have been for quite some time. They'd probably be getting engaged or some shit by now, except Kardashian is technically married to Brooklyn Nets player Kris Humphries. West and Kardashian have already had a cat together, but then it died.

Last night, during the third night of West's run of performances in Atlantic City, Kanye announced, "Can we make some noise for my baby mama right quick?" While that in and of itself is fairly inconclusive evidence of a pregnant Kardashian, her sisters tweeted about it, so it's pretty much confirmed at this point.

If you were my dad you would probably ask yourself, "Why are they having a child out of wedlock?" but the rest of us are asking, "One, does Jay-Z have anything to do with this, and two, what are they going to name the baby?" While the answer to my dad's probable question has to do with Kardashian's marriage to Humphries, this pregnancy has everything to do with Jay-Z and the Illuminati, and if I had to guess they're gonna name the kid something from the following list:

—Mid West
—Jib West
—Go West
—Seven West
—HaHa West
—TaTu West
—Twitter.com/kanyewest West
—Prometheus West
—Steve Jobs West
—Eynak West
—Wes West
—Jesus Christ West
—Beyoncé West
—Wild Wild West
—Kim Kardashian-West West
—Green Kudzu West
—Blay West
—Trixen West
—George Foreman West

Drew Millard knows the truth is out there and is on Twitter - @drewmillard