We Asked a Witch If Beyoncé Could Be a Witch

Kimberly Thompson, a former drummer of Beyoncé's, filed a restraining order against the singer claiming she used "extreme witchcraft" against her.

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Sep 21 2018, 5:40pm

Kevin Winter/PW18/Getty Images for Parkwood Entertainment

No one's ever really been able to explain Beyoncé's effect on people. To be fair, she's created a brand by looking flawless and training herself to be one of the most talented entertainers of our time. Kimberly Thompson, a former drummer of Beyoncé, has her own theories on the singer. According to documents reported by The Blast, Thompson filed a civil harassment restraining order against the singer for "extreme witchcraft."

Thompson, who was a part of Beyoncé's all-female band for seven years according to court documents, filed a temporary restraining order with the Los Angeles Superior Court which was denied. The restraining order provided by Thompson accuses of theft of intellectual property as well as computer hard drives but continues to spiral into some truly strange territory. Thompson is also accusing Beyoncé of "magic spells of molestation, the murder of my pet kitten, and magic spells on my lovers." Thompson is sticking to her account. "All accusations...I survived are real," as reported by Pitchfork.

Well, Noisey is genuinely interested on how true this could all be, far-fetched as it may seem. So we reached out to Sarah Lyons, our pals over at Broadly's witch-in-residence, to see how all of this squares with her knowledge and experience.

Noisey: Given all these accusations, would that classify Beyoncé as a witch?
Sarah Lyons: I'm not aware of Beyoncé being a witch or practicing any Occult art, but then again many magical practitioners believe that the more secret a spell or working is, the more powerful it is. So who knows! Maybe Bey is just very good at keeping secrets.

These are all pretty serious accusations, magically induced or otherwise, and I personally don't want to think Queen B is responsible for any of them. However, they are pretty much the same things witches have been accused of for centuries. During the early modern period witches were accused of causing havoc in people's lives, breaking up relationships, killing animals, and ruining crops, the 17th century equivalent of stealing a computer hard drive.

In many ways, this retaining order feels like a very old school accusation of witchcraft. Just like in the witch trials of Europe, she is accusing Beyoncé of causing harm that would be very hard to do without the assistance of magical powers, and also like the witch trials, it's very likely Beyoncé had little to nothing to do with much of these accusations. It's certainly possible to cause great harm with magic, I've done it myself, but I just don't want to believe Beyoncé would kill someone's cat!

What's the accuracy here regarding dark magic and extreme witchcraft?
The ethics of hexing and cursing are pretty hotly debated in the witchcraft and occult community today. Some people think that you should never curse another person or use magic to do harm, but there is also an old phrase "A witch who can't curse can't heal." It basically means you need to intimately know how curses work in order to heal people who have been harmed by them. Plus, sometimes the only justice people can get is through magic.

Kristin Corry is a staff writer for Noisey. Follow her on Twitter.
Sarah Lyons is Broadly's witch-in-residence. Follow her on Twitter.