Anthems, Ranked

In the pointless pre-amble to the the NBA All-Star Game in Los Angeles, California, last Sunday night, former Black Eyed Pea and one-time spelling bee champion Fergie sang "The Star-Spangled Banner." It was, by all accounts, bad. So bad that Draymond Green couldn't stop laughing; so bad that I couldn't watch the whole thing; so bad that Fergie had to publicly apologize and assure everyone that she does, actually, love America, and she wasn't going out of her way to desecrate anything.

But maybe it wasn't all Fergie's fault. Maybe the anthem just kind of sucks. After a heated debate this morning, the Noisey staff decided that the only way to figure out the relative quality of "The Star-Spangled Banner" was—fittingly—democracy.

So, look: We ranked the fucking anthems for you.

2000. Silverchair — "Anthem for the Year 2000"

1776. The United States of America — "The Star-Spangled Banner"

17. Gong — "Rational Anthem"

16. Lil B — "Bloggers Anthem"

15. Jay Z — "Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)"

14. DMX — "Ruff Ryders Anthem"

13. Zebrahead — "Anthem"

12. Lil Jon and Pitbull — "The Anthem"

11. Blink 182 — "Anthem Pt. 2"

10. Blink-182 — "Anthem"

9. UGK ft. Outkast — "International Player’s Anthem"

8. The entire nation of Canada — "O Canada"

7. Good Charlotte — "The Anthem"

6. The Red Army Choir — "Anthem of the USSR"

5. Ivan Drago's intro music in Rocky IV

4. Broken Social Scene — "Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl"

3. Lana Del Rey — "National Anthem"

2. LMFAO — "Party Rock Anthem"

1. Jimmy Buffett — "Margaritaville"

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