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Music

‘Gram Crumbs: Dedicated to Justin Bieber’s Glasses

84 moods, 84 pairs.

When I was a kid, I made my mother buy me my first pair of non-prescription glasses. I put them on and looked through those lenses with the confidence of someone with astigmatism who was now able to read traffic signs. I had perfect vision, mind you. I also bent a paper clip and affixed it to my upper row of teeth. In other words, I was a fucking dork. So, I don't really know what Justin Bieber's current state of vision is, but I respect his recent trend of wearing glasses. So much so, that I'd like to pay homage to it here with a history of his new glasses. You're all very welcome.

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Okay, so it was about six weeks ago when Justin Bieber resurfaced after like six months of no Instagram, which was pretty traumatic for the Beliebers and I. This photo above was the first most recent incident of him sporting some glasses. Either that or my thumb just got tired of scrolling down on IG. Anyway, he's giving that pouty look every kid (except for me) would make when they had to wear their glasses for the very first time.

But, he seemed to be pretty content with them, picking people's noses and all.

Then, just like that he switched frames. And mind you, these three pictures were posted within like a minute of each other, so it's like WTF Biebs, did you tell your eye doctor "Ay yo, bless, I need like 84 frames because sometimes a man has 84 moods ."

Then he took like several weeks off from his glasses. Like, he didn't even wear them at DJ Khaled's house.

Oh, wait, they came back a few weeks later. Here he's sunbathing with his original frames. His day ones. But honestly, shouldn't he be wearing those tinted lenses here? Or, dare I say, sunglasses?

See? He's like squinting to even acknowledge that woman and her child! And I only know it's a child because I see that tiny leg and foot.

Biebs is all, "Look at me! I even #sport in my glasses!"

New frames alert! Here's he's like "Come closer, Beliebers, so papa can see you clearly." Sidebar, I thought I was the only person left who would still be crying if I met Justin Bieber. Apparently not.

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Heads up, this isn't Justin here in the glasses. It's Poo Bear.

"Nah, 84 frames! We have 84 moods, man! 84!"

If there were glasses that could make people more religious, my mom would buy me 84 pairs.

Posting because in the comments, people are asking for the brand of frames. HE IS STARTING A MOVEMENT HERE, PEOPLE!

That's that smooth pimp walk when you're proud of your poor vision because you can't see the haters.

For a moment, I thought Bieber's neck tat was an eyeglass chain and my whole belief system was about to change.

Forget that new tattoo, Bieber has new frames again! Now he's "Ken from HR."

And apparently Ken is a hologram. So yeah, here we are.

Kathy Iandoli still has 20/20 vision. Go figure. Follow her on Twitter/Instagram @kath3000.