Here’s Your Chance to Bang All the Dudes Playing Warped Tour

One Tumblr has done the work of collecting the Tinder profiles of all the guys looking for love on the tour.

Jun 30 2014, 3:20pm

Back in the Warped Tour’s early days, band dudes would have to get their fuck on the old-fashioned way—scouring the crowd for dubiously aged women to put the moves on before heading over to the next shithole town and repeating. Bands like Pennywise, Gob, and Millencolin had to have their best pickup lines ready—lines like, “Hey, I’m in a band. [motions towards dick]Now, through the magic of smartphone apps, bands like [insert whatever metalcore band is popular this year] can hook up effortlessly with the swipe of a screen via Tinder. Fortunately, one Tumblr, called Band Dudes on Tinder, has done the yeoman’s work of collecting the Tinder profiles of all the dudes looking to find “love” on Warped Tour—from band members to tour managers to guitar techs. The owner of the Tumblr notes that everyone they’ve posted has been “confirmed to be real,” which you can go ahead and use your imagination to infer what that means.

Here are some choice samplings of man meat:

Here's this dude from Black Veil Brides, if you're into the whole Motley-Crue-meets-Real-Housewives-of-New-Jersey thing...

Here's the dude from Panic! At The Disco with a cat, so you know he's sensitive, laaaadies...

There's this guy from Cute Is What We Aim For. That tussled hair is just aiming for cute and he shaan't tame it...

The guy from Panic! At The Disco again, although this time, he's wearing a leather jacket, so he's a bit of a bad boy. Careful, ladies...

If songs about hitting women turn you on, this guy plays in Falling In Reverse and OMG he LURVES pineapple on pizza LOL ;)

The skunk-striped sensitive man in We Are The In Crowd also needs some love. Do the curtains match the drapes? Only one way to find out...

And the bear men in Every Time I Die also need some lovin'. More like Every Time I Swipe Right, huh ladies?

Dan Ozzi is not on Tinder, but he is on Twitter - @danozzi

Also check out:

Reminder: Tinder Is for Dating, Not Promoting Your Band

The Warped Tour Is Punk Rock Daycare

How to Ruin Your Band Name