Another Reason to Hate Ann Coulter: She Likes The Grateful Dead

Please stop this this unholy union at once.

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Jun 11 2015, 7:39pm

As esteemed and irritable members of the internet, it is our sworn duty to point out people who are Bad and tell them how Bad they are, publicly. When someone slips up and says or does something dumb, it’s on us to plaster our vocal opinions of its Badness across every conceivable social media platform to make sure the world knows it. (Plus, getting opinion-affirming faves and retweets feels great!) But aside from those who make the occasional misguided statements, there are people who make careers out of routinely spitting ignorant horseshit out of their mouth-holes. Like say, Ann Coulter, for instance.

Coulter has made a very nice living off of imagining of the ugliest, most hateful opinion a person can have on a topical issue and then going a liiiitle bit further than that. If you are willing to give her money or help her promote her latest book of liberal-demonizing (she has a new one out now), she’ll be happy to say any ol’ trolling bullshit that’ll get you ratings. Last week, for example, she told Fox News’ token liberal-who-looks-like-he-just-emerged-from-a-laundry-hamper Alan Colmes that she thinks Caitlyn Jenner being transgender is a “mental illness” and that we shouldn’t be celebrating it.

It’s easy to hate Coulter because she wants you to hate her. Hate = profit. But today, even after her long and thoroughly substance-free career of hate speech exercising her first amendment right as outlined by our divine forefathers, she took the ugliest opinion of all: Ann Coulter thinks The Grateful Dead is good.

Coulter called in to the SiriusXM Insight special, Sit Down with Alfred and Chris, recently to shill her book (don’t worry, Ann, we’re fulfilling our one-plug-per-paragraph-guarantee of your book here) and she discussed her love of the band, of which she is “a major fan” according to SiriusXM. She was described as a Dead Head.

To be clear: Being a fan of The Grateful Dead is a mental illness and we shouldn’t be celebrating it. Why else would you stand in the middle of a field among a bunch of aging weekend hemp warriors listening to a 15-minute meandering wah pedal solo unless your brain has some horrible deficiency? Truly, God—and there definitely is one—didn't make people like this. Being a Dead Head is a choice, not something you're born with.

We should all now stop poking fun at Ann Coulter in light of this new information regarding her mental illness. By all means, help pay for her medical bills (which we know we can’t count on that witchcraft Obamacare to cover) and buy her new book Immigrants Can Suck My Fucking Cock, the sequel to her bestselling The Bigot’s Guide to the Galaxy, available now from Amazon.

Here she is talking about her favorite Dead songs. Poor Ann.

And here's her on the subject of drugs at Dead concerts. This brave, mentally ill soul.

And here's her on some third thing. Courageous. #StandWithAnn