We Interviewed a Bunch of Black Metal Cats; Yes, Actual Cats

"I have been waiting more than one thousand years, now it is time to rule with chaos."

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Jan 25 2016, 6:56pm

Cats have dabbled in the dark arts since the Middle Ages. According to European legend, black cats assume human form to act as spies for witches and demons. The Dictionary of English Folklore references “regular, large-scale massacres of 'Satanic' cats, of burning them in midsummer bonfires.” In fact, cats were often used for demonic rituals, like burning effigies of the Pope with a belly full of cats “which squalled most hideously as soon as they felt the fire.” That’s metal as fuck!

Fast-forward to the Internet age, and cats are now celebrated for their dalliance with the dark. We’ve seen one of the most popular Internet felines, Grumpy Cat, appear alongside Immortal, the formation of Purrzum, a book about metal dudes and their kitty companions, and an entire Instagram account devoted to cats wearing backpatches.

Like all good denizens of the Internet, the cats are also tweeting. I interviewed a few of them about the weather, their weekends and various other workings of the dark.

Noisey: How has the great blizzard of 2016 been treating you?

Well, okay. I take it you like snow, then?

Nice. I like mountains of ice, too.

Right. What did you do this weekend?

That sounds more exciting than binge watching Making a Murderer on Netflix.

Whoa there, Steven Avery. Any words on Lemmy’s passing?

David Bowie, too. What is going on with 2016?

Agreed. What’s your favorite color?

"Black the ultimate color." I like that.

Well, that’s kind of a bummer. Anything else?

At least until the snowplows come.

Tina Haver Currin is following the freezing moon on Twitter.