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Music

Five Times Kurupt FM Proved They Are the Best Comedians in Britain

When the history books are opened, time will remember MC Grindah. The lyrical master.
Ryan Bassil
London, GB

When the history books are opened and time looks back on the cultural achievements of Britain between the years of 2010 and 2016, People Just Do Nothing will be a bold highlight in a dark age. Like Nathan Barley, or Spaced, or Brass Eye, or any of the other television shows that stamped a mark on the vernacular of this strong yet secluded island, the show encapsulates one of the rare yet necessary subcultures that make Britain, sometimes, the best country in the world.

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The cast of the show may be a bunch of layabouts with a lack of sense, financial security, and reality, but that’s part of what makes People Just Do Nothing so great. It’s about pirate radio, but it’s also a documentation of what it means to live in a place where it always rains, and all you have is a fool-headed dream and a bunch of mates who make everything better. We know the show is great, because we’ve watched it countless times. You lot know it’s great, because you ensured that their pilot episode was the most shared on the BBC iPlayer app during the month it launched, in 2012.

Tomorrow, MC Grindah, Beats, Steves, Decoy, Fantasy and Chabuddy G will be blessing laptops with season three of the show, and our mates over at VICE have a comprehensive feature interview with the cast that you can make your way through here. But before you delve into that, we’ve compiled some of their most priceless moments for your viewing pleasure. Disclaimer: We've decided to focus on lesser seen clips from outwith the show, because Kurupt FM isn't just a TV show, it's a 360 degree entertainment experience.

THE TIME THEY WENT ON BBC RADIO 1 LIVE LOUNGE AND UPSET BRITAIN

You can imagine the producers at BBC Radio 1 thinking this would be a great idea. Two birds, one stone, right? We get BBC Three's best comedy act performing live on the BBC's biggest radio station, during a prime daytime slot. What could go wrong? Then Chabaddy comes on and introduces himself as "the brown Casanova, aka the off-white Bruce Forsyth". Then MC Grindah turns up and starts shouting "Pussy 'oles!" and "I'll leave your gyal dem moist and soggy!" live on air whilst Steves plays the recorder, and you can imagine – at that exact point – the producers realised the ramifications of inviting Brentford's fiercest pirate radio syndicate to take up the mic pre-watershed on a Wednesday.

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THE TIME THEY ENDED UK FUNKY

Parks are fucking glorious, aren’t they? Not sure whose idea they were, but thanks to the work of that recreational maverick, Britain is a land replete with slides, colourful climbing equipment and benches which double up as both adventure playgrounds for kids and reclusive hideaway spots for teenagers who are just entering their weed smoking career. But that’s not all, because the grand British park is also the location for what is arguably Kurupt FM’s finest moment: the original video for “Get Out The Way”. Ever wondered why UK Funky died quicker than an iPhone? This is the reason.

THE TIME THEY WENT ON DRAGONS' DEN

Students always moan about having to pay TV license fees, but it's synergised moments like this (and the nature documentaries from your boy, David Attenborough) that make paying the damn thing worthwhile. Unlike other episodes of Dragons' Den – during which Touker Suleyman and Deborah Meaden frown, coughs and gob all over average people with ideas until they retreat back into the elevator from whence they came – this one stars your boys Kurupt FM as they attempt to gain "bare money" for the running of their illegal radio station. It's a laugh, but you can't help but feel the crew have made a fatal error here. Where's ultimate MVP salesman Chabuddy G? I will pay my license fee for ten years to watch one season of Chabuddy G pitching products to millionaires.

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THE TIME GRINDAH TOOK HIS FIRST PILL

Yeah, People Just Do Nothing is best known for its portrayal of the pirate radio community. But it can be touching, too. Take, for example, this clip of Grindah taking his first pill. For a moment, he's not the bombastic owner of West London's best pirate radio station. He becomes every person who has suffered through their first experience with ecstasy by assuming the brace position and gently weeping. It's innocent. It's nuanced. It is a clip like this that makes it the best show on the BBC.

THE TIME CHABUDDY G WENT ON A DATE IN A CHICKEN SHOP

We've mentioned him a few times, but Chabuddy G is absolutely the unsung hero of People Just Do Nothing. Berated by the others, and spurned by his one love Aldona, you can’t help but feel pity sometimes for the man that calls himself “UKIP’s worst nightmare”. Here, in this date with the unimpressed Amelia Dimoldenberg as part of her series Chicken Shop Date, he paints an absorbing portrait of the most disastrous Tinder hook up imaginable, opening with the line: “Amelia… Dutch for golden vagina am I right?”. It’s Chabuddy at his best: confused, crass, cocky, conflicted, and misinformed, but still strangely charming. He’s basically the Don Quixote of Hounslow.

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