Review the Singles: The Nans vs TV Dads Special

Ever wanted to hear an old person's opinion on Shane Richie? Now you can!

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20 December 2017, 11:55am

My nan is the greatest nan in my world. We’ve had her speak about Rag’n’Bone Man and rap music already on Noisey and it’s been beautiful. A fountain of infinite wisdom, a carousel of contemplation – she’s great. However it also didn’t seem fair that she be the de facto Noisey Nan and so, this year, each grandmother of the UK staff is becoming a member of the Noisey team.

This time around we’re getting the Nans to review the most Nan music possible – aka the records released this year by Bradley Walsh, Shane Richie and Nick Knowles.

Being the core audience for these year-end releases, we wanted to get the lowdown. Is A Country Soul by Shane Richie the absolute one? Is Nick Knowles Every Kind Of People the pensioner’s equivalent to Mac DeMarco’s This Old Dog? What kind of Dreams is Bradley Walsh Chasing?

Here are the results, posted in full:

RYAN’S NAN

How are you doing?
I’ve been wrapping Christmas presents. Nearly finished.

Nice.
[Five minute chat about Christmas]

So! These questions... What did you think of Shane Richie?
Right. I thought it was very good. Definitely country and western.

He’s ticked the box.
Oh I didn’t look at any of those things.

No – the album is called A Country Soul . So at least he’s got that right.
Oh, of course! Did you want me to comment on the song?

Yes.
Okay. I thought it was very good. I didn’t realise Shane Richie sang. I’ve seen him in Eastenders and game shows and everything else, so that was a surprise. But I’m not sure if it’s going to appeal to a younger generation. It will be more for – not my age, because I’m older. It’ll be more for mums and dads and people who like country music.

That’s interesting because the record seemed aimed at your generation.
I do think people my age would like it but I don’t think I would go out and buy it.

Okay.
Now… when we spoke about the Rag’n’Bone Man I did like that, even though I thought he needed more confidence. And hasn’t he done well now?

He has.
I was really pleased.

Would you put Rag’n’Bone Man above Shane Richie?
Definitely. He’s more powerful.

LAUREN'S NAN

Hiya nan. What’s so good about Bradley Walsh?
I think he’s a really funny man.

You like him on The Chase don’t you?
I like him on The Chase, yeah. He’s ever so funny on The Chase.

What about his music?
Well the songs that he sings are the songs of our era. I can connect with songs like “That’s Life,” that’s why I like him. And he’s got that little bit of charisma about him.

Do you think he’s a good singer?
Yeah I think he can sing the songs from our era very well. I think he’s really good. I hope his albums or his singles or whatever they are sell well for him.

Would you buy his CD?
Yeah, yeah I would.

What do you think in general about all of these TV presenters making albums? Like the guy from Pointless?
I agree with him because he’s got the voice for it. He’s got a real operatic voice hasn’t he?

What about Shane Richie?
No. I don’t think he’s going anywhere. Nor Anton du Beke, I don’t think he’ll be going anywhere either.

Did you know that Nick Knowles from DIY SOS made an album?
He’s better off sticking to the building.

Cheers, nan

EMMA’S NAN

Hi nan, did you know Nick Knowles is a country singer now?
Yes! I saw it being advertised on the telly! I’m not fussed.

Why not?
I don’t listen to much.

That’s not true! You listen to loads of music.
Bradley Walsh doesn’t sound too bad, mind. Armstrong – I don’t like him at all. It’s like he’s acting. He’s supposed to be a singer but he’s not. I don’t know how he came to make an album, do you?

I really don’t, to be honest.
There was a chap on telly early this morning and his life story is fascinating. He couldn’t talk to anyone, you know, so he’d put it into music instead. And when he started singing, god, he had a lovely voice! It’s the type of music your mother and father would like, I think.

What did he play, guitar?
And keyboards! He started off with guitar and he heard this teacher playing piano at school and he really liked it so learned himself. He was singing a song, “I’m in a box…”

I don’t know wh-
Don’t say anything for a minute, I nearly had it. Ben something. Fitzgerald maybe?

Oh, Benjamin Clementine?
That’s it! Hey, that’s not far from Ben Fitzgerald.

Smashed it. So what do we think: not fussed on Nick Knowles, Bradley Walsh is alright, Alexander Armstrong needs to stop and Benjamin Clementine is fantastic.
Yes.

Thanks nan. Love you.

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