Jeremy "The Boy" Corbyn is Going to Be at Glastonbury!
Grab your big bag of cans.
In the greatest unexpected appearance since Werner Herzog showed up in that episode of Rick and Morty to explain mankind's obsession with dick jokes, Jeremy "The Boy" Corbyn is set to speak at this year's Glastonbury Festival. The Absolute Boy will, naturally, introduce Run The Jewels, who famously campaigned for Bernie Sanders – aka Americorbyn – and encouraged the crowd to vote Labour during their set at Field Day earlier this month. Completing the perfect quadrangle of Absolute Boys, he will be led on stage by festival founder Michael Eavis.
"We're Corbyn fans, that's the thing," Eavis told the Guardian at the Glastonbury site this week, "He's got something new and precious, and people are excited about it. He really is the hero of the hour."
Judging by the amount of "OHHHH JEREMY CORBYN" chants I have personally heard at several gigs this month (including Turnover and, oddly, Why?) it's likely he'll be met with lots of applause and lots of cans in the wake of a general election that went completely tits-up for Theresa May.
Some losers have been popping off in the tweets, chatting shit like "Errr WTF? I'm free from the shackles of corporate life for a weekend for you to force politics on me? No thanks and NOT COOL @GlastoFest" and "What he going to do on stage?Play the spoons.This is why I regret voting for him". To whom I must say: one thousand eye roll emojis, milord. Glastonbury is partnered with Greenpeace. Billy Bragg literally curates an entire stage there for the whole weekend. On Sunday there will be a panel discussion about whether democracy is over. If you don't like your politics and festival experience to co-exist, please take your straw fedora to a CAMRA event.
Run the Jewels are scheduled to perform on the Pyramid stage at 4.15PM on Saturday, with Corbyn appearing just beforehand. Grab your big bag of cans.
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Image via Wikicommons.