Bradley Walsh, your nan's secret crush, but also extremely yer da, released the biggest selling debut album in the whole of Britain in 2016. This is a fact. So obviously, as a major new player in the British music industry, he was invited to British Music's Biggest Night™ – the Brits. And did Bradley Walsh ever have an absolute ball, as we see here in this incredibly weird interview he did with NME.
At first it's standard cute dad fare: he's all "rabbit in the headlights!" Usually he's at home watching the show with a biscuit and a cuppa! But then something happens to Bradley: hubris takes over, because someone cool (Stormzy) recognises him and definitely at least half-jokingly calls him a "legend" – related: I feel like Stormzy is bang into The Chase. And then Bradley goes tumbling right over the fucking edge:
"Stormzy… That's mad innit. My mate Stormzy, that. Me and Stormzy, you know. We hang out together. You know, we do a bit of grime – is it grime? It's definitely grime. Me and Stormzy. What else do we do? Grunge? No, just grime. We do grime."
Then he starts talking about Bruno Mars, and that foodstuff commonly associated with him, Hawaiian pizza – "He's from Hawaii, I like Hawaiian pizza. That's quite cool" – but other than that, he "doesn't have a clue" why he's there. There are so many questions to ask: how pissed is Bradley Walsh here? Are Stormzy and Bruno Mars the only two black people Bradley Walsh has ever encountered? And, perhaps most pressingly, is this the future of the UK recording industry?
If so, behold it in all its pissed-uncle-in-a-curry-house glory. It'll have a chicken korma, nothing too spicy:
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(Image via NME)