I've covered a wide range of topics during my time here at Noisey. I've proposed that we stop supporting abusive rappers. I've gone to New Orleans to learn about the music being made by some of the city's best underground artists. I've also reported on how a rapper from my hometown of Baltimore had been targeted by a crooked cop for all of his adult life. And as much as I pride myself on being knowledgeable on everything that's come out of Baltimore and its surrounding areas, I was, until recently, completely unaware of straight edge, a genre born an hour away in Washington, DC. Straight edge is a derivative of punk that advocates for a completely sober (sometimes vegan) lifestyle that was started in the DC area in the early 80s and grew into an increasingly rigid national movement that continues today.
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For Noisey's Weed Week last year, I was tasked by the staff to listen to some of the most essential stoner metal albums ever made. I did not know what stoner metal was before then and have not listened to any since, but the experience was one that still sticks out in my memory. This year's Weed Week challenge is on the opposite end of the spectrum as I was challenged critique the most iconic albums in straight edge, the hardcore subgenre I just learned existed. The idea of a musical identity centered around an ardently sober lifestyle sounded a bit ridiculous to me but that's because I am neither sober or vegan. But I'll try anything once. What you will read below is my take on some of the most important straight edge music to come out since its inception in the 80s. But, in the spirit of Weed Week (and my own sanity), I defied the very foundation of the genre and indulged in some gas while I listened.I’m going to come clean and admit that I was having a real struggle understanding what this man was saying. The music sounded good enough so I wasn’t going to let that stop me. My initial idea of what straight edge music would sound like was more along the lines of ambient music, but that wouldn’t make sense considering that you almost have to be on drugs to thoroughly enjoy that shit. This is much more hardcore. I guess if someone is trying to convince you to not do any drugs, the most effective way is to scream at you very loud about it.
Minor Threat - Minor Threat EP (1984)
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I looked up the lyrics to the actual song called "Straight Edge," which apparently started this whole movement. The first four bars go:I'm a person just like you
But I've got better things to do
Than sit around and fuck my head
Hang out with the living deadWhat a lame. Calling me and my friends dead because we want to enjoy a few spliffs to make more fun out of watching DMV Hoodz and News Youtube updates or vibe out to the new Cardi album is not exactly how to talk me out of doing it. This is like when vegans call people murderers for enjoying a perfectly cooked turkey burger on a toasted brioche bun. I don't appreciate it.Getting into this album's intro ("Make a Change") was particularly challenging because the lead guy screaming "It's time we make a change" sounds almost identical to when disgruntled white people on South Park used to yell "They took our jobs!" So because of that similarity, all I hear on this album is the writers of South Park making fun of people who make these kinds of albums. It is early in my listening experience, but my main issue with straight edge so far is that it sounds too much like other punk music for me to fully consider this sober, vegan lifestyle that they are promoting. It's the same reason gospel trap will always seem like somewhat of a parody to me. If you want me to stop doing something, don't use elements of that thing to convince me to not do the thing. Straight edge should have been like spoken word. Like, I need to hear you articulate why I should adopt square life. I just want a beer at the moment.
But I've got better things to do
Than sit around and fuck my head
Hang out with the living deadWhat a lame. Calling me and my friends dead because we want to enjoy a few spliffs to make more fun out of watching DMV Hoodz and News Youtube updates or vibe out to the new Cardi album is not exactly how to talk me out of doing it. This is like when vegans call people murderers for enjoying a perfectly cooked turkey burger on a toasted brioche bun. I don't appreciate it.
Youth of Today - Break Down the Walls (1986)
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Judge - Bringin' It Down (1989)
Earth Crisis - Firestorm (1993)
SS Decontrol - The Kids Will Have Their Say (1982)
7 Seconds - The Crew (1984)
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