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Holy Shit

Céline Dion Is a Benevolent Goddess To A Drunk Fan

Nothing but respect for my President, Prime Minister, Queen, Mum, etc etc.

Sarah MacDonald

Imagine being so drunk that you think it’s a good idea to walk onstage during Céline Dion’s set at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. Wild, I know, but bear with me. Imagine, for a moment, that you, a mere mortal, dared to ascend the heavenly stairs of Dion’s stage where the regal pop queen is bathed in gold, shimmering in a couture gown while singing to you songs of love and loss. This is not imagination, it’s real. An actual live human woman, drunk as fuck, managed to make her way onto Dion’s stage in Las Vegas a few days ago and the Canadian icon handled it in an astonishingly sweet way.

Dion is a beacon for a lot in pop music, none more so than her extraordinary personality and presence on and offstage. A fan at the show managed to capture this awkward and unruly moment start to finish (thank you, dear stranger) and Dion is not only un-shook by the entire experience with a drunk megafan, she actually wanted the her to stay! Dion, with such earnestness that I don’t think even registered on the fan’s face, shooed away her security and said she was glad she stormed her stage. Then the fan proceeded to hump her and I am confounded by that. What… was the thought process of this person in that precise moment? Is having a good time synonymous with humping your idol without their consent?

Drunk fans are objectively the worst. I mean the ones who are obliterated and drooling and crawling up onstage to paw at their favourite singer or band. It’s Bacchanalian as all hell, yes, but stupid. But what about Dion’s security? Or the security of Caesar’s Palace, where the performance was held. In no way should a fan be able to reach the singer, of this insanely high calibre, so easily and be able to hump the Queen of Canada. (I’m honestly still in shock over that.)

Dion, for whatever the reason other than truly being The Best Human, did not think this was stupid and schooled every single one of us on how to be kind to people. She showed this fan compassion and told the audience it was important to have this break during the show because “some people go through a lot and some people need to talk” which, if that’s the case, Céline, I would love to talk to you about my current intimacy issues and get your insight. I feel like you might have some wisdom for me.

She also said of the fan, “I don’t know her, I love her,” which, profound and deep same with respect to you, Céline.