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Justin Bieber Unfollowed Floyd Mayweather in the Name of Christ

Jesus v. Mayweather in the match for the fate of humanity.

Phil Witmer

Phil Witmer

"Make sure you leave some space for the Holy Spirit, kids!"


On Saturday, the IRL Dragon Ball Z fight of Floyd Mayweather vs. Conor McGregor will be aired from Las Vegas. It will be the ultimate ode to rampant bourgeoisie late capitalism (tickets are running for about $300,000) before the system finally collapses from its own bloat. Hopefully. In the meantime, we shall watch men worth more than whole nations hammer at each other with their fists. The thing is that Jesus is apparently not alright with this, and wherever the Lord goes, His devoted servant Justin Bieber is bound to follow.

According to TMZ, Bieber's time with the Hillsong Church has forced him to take "a hard look at his friends and [pull] back from those who are bad influences." Said bad influences reportedly included Mayweather, whom Bieber has been buds with for a few years now. Bieber decided to "reset boundaries" between himself and Money, opting out of Mayweather's visits to strip clubs and, most egregiously, unfollowing him on Instagram. Mayweather allegedly did not take kindly to this, accusing J-Biebz of literal treason out of hurt feelings, citing that he was loyal to Bieber during those dark 2013 days.

No more will we have delightful footage of these two famous boys trying not to drown in what looks like a Bond villain death trap. No, those days are gone, replaced by strife and pettiness. It's far too late to say sorry now. But also, Justin Bieber is genuinely trying to make himself better and healthier, and if Jesus is the way, then let Him be the way, I guess. No judgments here, except by Jesus, obviously.

Phil wonders how he ended writing about this stuff sometimes. He's on Twitter.