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J Staxx Made a Rap Song About Riding His Hoverboard, So We Interviewed Him

Apparently, the best way to clean codeine off a hoverboard is with your tongue.



Imagine when Mozart discovered music for the first time, when Galileo contemplated the stars, or when Michelangelo set his hands on cold, unsculpted stone and saw beauty. When Saskatchewan-based rapper J Staxx laid eyes on a hoverboard, he must have had a similar reaction. Thus, he birthed 2015’s most hoverboard-focused music video, “My Hoverboard.” Hoverboards have been a defining component of hip-hop this year. The glowing rap chariots joined beloved trends like Hammer pants, spinners, ghostriding the whip, and Pitbull. J Staxx wrote bars set to Migos’ “Versace,” called up exotic dancers, executed some one-footed hoverboard 360s, and created an instant classic.

Noisey wanted to find out more about the hoverboarder and emcee J Staxx, so we interviewed him by phone from his Saskatoon home. Originally from east Riverside, California, Staxx told us he used to associate with gangs living within blocks from his home. He said he dealt all manner of drugs, explaining, “I made pretty good money, I’m not gonna lie. I was never in a gang, but I hung around a lot of Crip gang members.” That lifestyle is the subject of his 2013 mixtape Sex, Drugs & Hip-Hop, which features Lil Wyte and Flat1ine. That world ended after Staxx developed a severe heroin addiction. He came to Canada to get clean in September 2010.

Staxx said, “I had a near-death experience [in California]. I had gotten away with doing a lot of stupid shit for a long time. I finally woke up and realized it’s a miracle I’m still alive.” He booked a one-way ticket to Canada where he has family and quit heroin “cold turkey.” Currently, 27-year-old Staxx is pursuing a university degree in commerce, but music is his modus operandi. As he asserted, “I’m going to find one way or another to get myself big in music. I’m doing everything I can to make this pop off… I’m an intelligent guy. I know what’s going on.” For now, he’s focused on making viral hits. After he graduates this spring, the rapper said his music persona could be over if he doesn’t “make it big.” And that’s why J Staxx raps about his hoverboard.

NOISEY: What’s that thing called you ride in that video?
J Staxx: The hoverboard. [laughs] Yeah.

Why?
I just started seeing them. I guess they only came out in February this year. The first time I saw it, I was like, ‘Dude, that is the coolest fucking thing I’ve seen in my life. That is dope.’ It’s so small. It’s compacted. It really looks like you’re hovering. It does have little wheels on it, but when someone’s comfortable on it—actually, when people ask, ‘how is that working?’ I tell them I control it with my mind. And they actually believe me for a second! I really hate walking after getting that thing. It’s the best thing since I’ve been alive.

What tips do you have for executing a one-footed 360 on a hoverboard?
Get very comfortable. I took it over to my buddy’s place. His mom tried to get on it, and we tried to stop her. She tried to get on anyway and she fucking broke her ankle in three places. She went down hard. I would say, get very comfortable first. Try it on grass or carpet so it’s not as hard. It’s very sensitive.

How do you clean codeine off a hoverboard?
With my tongue.

Did the women in your music video know it would be so hoverboard-centric?
They listened to the song first, and they’d never seen a hoverboard, and they thought it was about my dick. That’s what they thought the whole song was about. So they were in for a shock when I showed up on that shit.

Speaking of your dick, you simulate licking your own nut off that one lady’s ass. Is that a metaphor?
Nah. We just really did it. You saw her ass. She has a dope ass. I busted my nut on her in the video—that’s why it’s 18+. I busted all over her and told the first girl to lick it off her ass. And then I looked at her ass, and at the same time I was like, ‘Yo, what do I taste like?’ I’ve tasted a lot of woman cum, and mine was similar but it had a tropical mango aftertaste.

Wow. You dressed up your hoverboard as a baby. Do you have kids?
No. Not at the moment.

So you plan on having kids then?
I mean, yeah, down the road. If I’m more financially stable. For now, I’m good.

Money cereal. What’s that like?
One benefit of money cereal is it doesn’t get stuck in your teeth like regular cereal, so you don’t have to floss it out after.

What is the weight limit for—to quote you—“These hoes on [your] hoverboard?”
The actual weight limit for the hoverboard is 250 pounds for mine; but if you’re a female, you’re not getting on if you’re over 140 to 150.

Right. And hoverboard. So, you’re never bored?
Yeah. I’m never bored cause I hoverboard. Like, if I got nothing to do, I’ll just be in a room by myself—no TV, no anything—just practicing my one-footed 360s and trying new shit. It’s like learning to walk all over again.

What did you think of Kenny Hotz from Kenny vs Spenny commenting so positively on your video?
I just want to say thank you to Kenny Hotz for actually appreciating what I’m trying to do. His one remark—I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I got a ton of hate—his one comment outweighed all those other comments by 1000 times. He’s a successful person in the entertainment industry. Him saying [the video] was good meant everything.

Anything you want to pass on to Migos? Should they be taking notes?
Migos is dope as fuck. Shout out to Migos. That’s their beat. Those dudes are fucking gangsters. I like their movement and their music.

Devin Pacholik had to watch “My Hoverboard” 14 times for research. Follow him on Twitter.