The other day, I met up with one of my oldest friends, and she reminded me of something. We used to meet at the end of my street before school so we could walk there together. But I would never let her meet me at my front door. Because in the time it took me to walk down that street, I could listen to around 3-4 songs on my CD walkman. I needed that extra time, I explained – apparently a very serious, neurotic and probably quite annoying 11-year-old. That was when I could listen to music.
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Absolutely nothing has changed. Sometimes, I wake up extra early and sneak out the house undisturbed so I can listen to music without anyone joining me. During these times when I'm walking and listening, I often completely disassociate from my body. I go to all sorts of places. When I was 11, for example, I would consistently imagine that I was not a kid in North London, but in fact Karen O, on stage at Glastonbury, singing “Date With the Night” (I know, lol). As an adult, my fantasies are more realistic or abstract (I might imagine moving to LA, or speaking to my 17-year old self) but it's p much the same sort of thing.I can't be the only person who has this fantasy-based, dissociative relationship to music. In fact, I would even go as far to assume that most people who listen to music often experience it that way? But also, who am I to say? I don't know that for sure. It's not something people talk about much. Fantasies can be embarrassing. And they're also private, hard to pin down and revealing. They say a lot about a person.With all that in mind, I decided to find some people willing to speak to about the weirdest stuff they think about when they're listening to music. Surprisingly, it wasn't hard.“I would always imagine being the drummer of Babes in Toyland – specifically the song ‘Sweet 69’, with the cowbell at the beginning – and all my exes being in the audience, thoroughly impressed. Also, miraculously, I’m not sweating, because there’s a fan [by the stage]. I would be the sick drummer chick I always wanted to be. It’s quite a minimal plot, and really only lasts for the intro, but I used to imagine this a lot when I was younger, back when I used to really take my boyfriend’s criticisms to heart. I’ve dated five drummers, so…”
HAN, 25
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SAMMI, 27
CALUM, 23
JASMINE, 25
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