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Who would have thought that Randy Newman, the less corny Billy Joel, would have been the most astute political artist of the chaotic late 2010s? His incredible musical lampooning of Putin prophesied the Russian hacks drama by just a few months, after all. Newman's protagonists have also historically sounded like a certain Dumbass-in-Chief, so it would only make sense that a Trump-narrated song would materialize, which, unfortunately, it did not. But thanks to a new interview with Newman by Vulture, we have some of the lyrics, which apparently mostly go like this:
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That's from Trump's perspective, FYI. According to Newman, the chorus is just "What a dick!" Short and sweet. It should be noted that System of a Down used a similar metaphor and theme to combat the Bush administration back in 2005 on "Cigaro." Great minds think alike. You can read the rest of the Vulture interview here, which also includes tidbits about Newman doesn't hate the Eagles among other things.My dick's bigger than your dick / It ain't braggin' if it's true / My dick's bigger than your dick / I can prove it too / There it is! There's my dick / Isn't that a wonderful sight? / Run to the village, to town, to the countryside / Tell the people what you've seen here tonight.