The Junos Are Pretty Good, I Guess

The Junos are good. Not great, but not terrible. They might even be pretty good. A lot of people try to downplay the importance of what is effectively the Canadian Grammys, but earning the respect of your home nation is one of the most rewarding feelings that an artist can experience, outside of, presumably, earning a ton of money and shitting on everyone. All the entertainers who braved the bitter tundra that is known to envelop the Winnipeg plains in late March, found that the near-filled RBC Convention Centre was predictably polite and welcoming to everyone whose surname was not Bieber. But outside of the two hour injection of Canadian music that shot through viewers like a shot of screech rum, marked particularly by the closing performance which featured both The Sheepdogs and Bachman Turner Overdrive, the 2014 Junos will go down as the ceremony that will be remembered for who didn’t show up, and for OneRepublic preforming and confusing the fuck out of Canadians who collectively wondered what part of Canada these guys were from.

The biggest winners of the night were Tegan and Sara, who walked away with three Junos, including the prized award for “Pop Group of the Year.” As far as pop acts go, the queer identical twins from Northern Calgary embody everything it means to be a Canadian, acting as edgy, polite, and talented pop diplomats. Since one of Canada’s main cultural exports since the early aughts has been light and airy pop music, this duo are the next logical step in the evolution process of pop stars. But more important than the fact that Tegan and Sara make good music is the fact that they seem to actually give a shit about the Junos.

For those unfamiliar with the format of the Junos, the award show is broken up by short skits recorded prior to the show. Historically, the most memorable of all these skits were the ones where Drake was involved, but after he received approximately zero Junos on the year he put in all that effort, he hasn’t been present at the awards in any capacity. With that in mind, it’s good to see that Tegan and Sara, who are regular contributors to the “extra credit assignments” that come along with Juno-duty, are both being awarded while still participating in somewhat funny skits, including one with the other big winner of the night, Serena Ryder.

Serena was one of three hosts last night, but she truly made an impression on the public when she took the stage to accept the award for "Songwriter of the Year,” where she took a majority of her on-screen time to praise Justin Bieber’s work ethic. It might have been the most Canadian thing to ever have happened at the ceremony, but we’re having the interns check. Justin had been booed by the Winnipeg crowd for receiving the “Fan Choice Award” for the fifth consecutive year a few minutes prior to Serena taking the stage, but this only came as a surprise to anyone who doesn't understand both how the internet and teens work.

Booing Justin didn’t really matter, since the pop prince didn’t bother showing up. In fact, the most promising event surrounding the Junos seemed to have involved avoiding Winnipeg all together. Celine Dion, Drake, Michael Buble and Arcade Fire were all nominees who weren’t able to make the trip, and pretend-Canadian Robin Thicke cancelled at the last minute after forging a doctor’s note from his neurologist, Dr. Pepper.

It’s unfortunate that some of the biggest talents that Canada has to offer aren’t interested in making the annual trip to the Juno Awards. In spite of the fact that it’s a show targeted to appeal to hockey dads looking to feel nostalgic for the good old days of street hockey and borderline alcoholism, it has the potential to be so much more. But there seems to be a case of the chicken and the egg with Canadian talent and Canadian award shows. I’m sure that the Juno organizers would love to book Arcade Fire, Drake and Justin Bieber to close the show instead of those old dudes who wrote “Taking Care of Business,” but it’s hard to convince those acts that their time will be valued when they’re regularly snubbed and booed during the ceremony. So unless we can guarantee a Serena Ryder apology after every bump in the road, maybe we should just accept the Junos for what they are: pretty good.

Photos via CBC

Slava Pastuk is in Montreal this week but on Twitter all the time