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Music

Skrillex Threw a Party Because He Made a Shirt, So We Crashed It

It's not a real party without a naked burlesque performance.

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The week before last, still stricken by my annual Post-Coachella-Party-SARS, but fully recovered from getting all the wristbands surgically removed from my arms, I snuck out of the hospital for one night to do what I do best: keep raving. This time it was to make an appearance at the launch party for LONG x OWSLA's clothing collaboration at The Well in Downtown Los Angeles.

You'd have to be living under a rock and/or without Wi-Fi to not know that collaborations between the worlds of fashion and music are pretty fucking crucial. These collabs serve as an effective branding strategy where clothing brands hop onto a buzz artist via giving them mad free swag in order to build their “cool guy” rep, so that random teenagers will continue to buy stuff their favorite artist is already wearing, consequently making them part of that brand’s metonymy. And while we’re guaranteed to witness fuccbois camping out just to cop the next pair of shoes Kanye decides to cosign, a collaboration between a London youth brand like LONG Clothing with Skrillex’s music label OWSLA seems like a fresh start in the realm of streetwear brands appealing to ravers, because if we’re being completely honest, those dudes dress like shit. LONG has already discovered the advantages of collaborating with other brands and artists, doing capsule collections with Boy London and Mishka last year, as well as releasing exclusive mixtapes with a who’s who of underground artists. The next logical step for them was aligning themselves with a music label, and who more relevant than one founded by Skrillex? This also makes sense for OWSLA expanding into merch to feed their fans, along with comically heavy dubstep drops. I fuck with a quality clothing collab as much as I fuck with a good party, so I was excited to see what would pop off.

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Having attended many mediocre, corporate-sponsored events in San Francisco in the past where I was mocked by old tech dudes for actually having fun, I went into The Well with very limited expectations, but was immediately impressed. First off, you walk in and the place looks like the inside of a fully decked out spacecraft from an alien future governed by aesthetics and the sort of vibes where everybody’s getting laid all the time: curved walls made of wood panels and floating islands with lit niches displaying all kinds of expensive fancy shit that would put me back several months on rent if I even thought of copping.

In the boutique, the six piece LONG x OWSLA collection was on display, wardrobe staples prominently featuring the OWSLA logo in a simple black, white, silver, and gold color scheme, including a long sleeve tee with print down the sides, a look streetwear brands have stayed reproducing since Heron Preston’s Nascar factory defect, but which has since become really played out. DID Y’ALL JUST DISCOVER SLEEVES OR SOMETHING? In the adjoined studio the party was already happening. Huge projections of both brands’ logos were cast on the walls of a huge white room. In one corner, an open bar was set up serving mad cute Buddha-shaped bottles of Lucky Beer, and on the other, Zakmatic, Boy London, and AC Slater were throwing on some serious slaps. Skrillex himself even made a special guest appearance, THANK U BASED SKRILL.

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The modest crowd at the party when I arrived grew like an amoeba as the night went on, yet still felt like an intimate gathering where L.A.’s hottest neo-goths and punk bros had all converged together in their best all-black looks to drink moonshine and dance to future bass. I vogued on the dancefloor with a crackhead, was taught how to finger girls by this insane French producer, Quentin Gaultier, and as is my custom at every party, did a naked burlesque performance. If I remember correctly, Sam Skrause kicked 72 thots offstage for me to strip off all my clothes and pour Skrillex’s bottle of tequila over my body while Kenny from Loudpvck and Jessie Andrews held up my legs so I could twerk on a handstand to Express Myself (like BEEN).

The trend of Music x Fashion collaborations will never die out. As long as corporations are looked at as people, and people are looked at as brands, brands will continue to flex on the haters and anyone looking, or buying. When a collaboration between two of these entities comes into being, the flexing reaches exponential levels. I, too, aspire to flagrantly stunt on the haters, so does anyone wanna buy me one of the $172 LONG x OWSLA bomber jackets? P L E A S E. I'll do a naked burlesque performance just for you.

Jazper Abellera covers parties for Noisey, you should invite him to yours on Twitter - @BOYTWEETSWORLDX

Want more party? How about a guide to crashing Coachella parties, the hottest Alt-Bros at Coachella, and some fan fiction about Andrew W.K.