Soulja Boy Is the Storyteller of Our Generation

Being an artist in 2019 means you don't have to wait to meet the press when you're ready to air your grievances. For Soulja Boy, the rapper who essentially tore down the wall between artists and their fandom a decade ago, hopping on Instagram Live is now a part of the formula he's built. Last week, fans found themselves on the receiving end of a full-blown rant from Soulja, who claimed he had the best comeback of 2018.

"I had the biggest comeback of 2018," he began. "Niggas up in here talking about Tyga. Tyga?!" It didn't sound like the 28-year-old rapper was a fan of "Taste." "After that Chris Brown shit, after that Migos shit, y'all tried to count me out. I ain't forgot about none of that shit. So I'm back with a chip on my fucking shoulder."

In a nearly-hour long interview with The Breakfast Club released this morning, the "Crank That" rapper isn't backing down on his claims that he's the most deserving rapper of the year and the decade. For his first appearance at the radio show, Soulja Boy reveled in recounting the events the rest of the world might not be privy to. His appearance on The Breakfast Club is indicative of one thing: Soulja Boy's storytelling abilities are unmatched. He's got an answer for everything—even if the stories aren't very believable. Here's some of the wildest shit that went on, according to Soulja Boy.

"I seen a picture of Karrueche and I liked the picture. At the time I'm presuming they were broken up. […] I got a call from Chris Brown on FaceTime and he was just going off on me.

He was like, 'What the fuck? You better stop liking her pictures.' I was just like, 'Bro, I didn't know y'all were still together. I'm sorry. My bad.' […]

I've dealt with this situation in the past. This same situation with him and Rihanna. It's like the same shit. Here we go again. I'm just telling him, 'Yo. I just liked a picture. I didn't mean nothing. If I knew it was gon' cause a beef and he was going to want to fight me, I would've never liked Karrueche picture. I didn't know it was that deep."

"Basically he called my phone and said he wanted to fight. I said, 'OK cool.' He said, 'I'm going to call Adrian Broner and I'm going to set the fight up.' […]

AB called like, 'Let's do the fight,' and he was trying to give me like a million. I was like, 'Bro, I'm not finna fight Chris Brown for no million that's too cheap.' Who you think I'm is, nigga? I'm Soulja Boy.

So I called Floyd [Mayweather] like, 'This nigga CB wanna fight me. You gon' set it up for me?' Floyd was like, 'I'll give you like $7 million.' I was like, 'Cool. That sounds about right.' We set the fight up. I signed the paperwork and Chris Brown backed out. He ain't sign the paperwork."

"I was talking to this girl named India Love. We was talking for like two or three years. I posted a picture of her from a TV show [The Westbrooks] on my Instagram. Lil Yachty called me and was like, 'Yo, you gotta take that picture down. That's my shorty.'

Before I even say anything to Yachty I call India like, 'Yo, you dating Lil Yachty? I'll take the shit down.' She's like, 'I don't even know Lil Yachty.' She's like, 'I never met him before.' At this point I'm furious. Is the nigga trying to play mind games? So I call him back like, 'What's up? You want beef or something? You want smoke?'

It started from there. Migos got mad at me because I went at Lil Yachty. But Migos always been my brothers. I flew them to LA. I was the first rapper to fly them to LA. They stayed at my house. I was in the "Versace" video. Drake wasn't even there and he was on the song. Drake ain't even show up."

"That beat "Versace," that was my beat. Go on Youtube and type in Soulja Boy "Teach Me How to Swag Part 2." It got 3, 4, 5 million views on that same beat. Zaytoven gave us the same beat. That's how me and Migos met.

I called them niggas and was like, 'That's my beat. What's up with y'all niggas?' [They said] 'Oh, my bad bro. You know how Zaytoven do. He send everybody in the game the same beat.' I was like, 'OK, we gotta make some music together.' We got cool after that. That was 2012."

"I made $250,000 in one day. […] I put up the video game. I thought it would only sell like 500 copies, 200 copies—not a lot. We got like fucking 20,000 orders. I didn't expect it to sell that much. So we got backed up. But your product is on the way."

He said once in Atlanta some ski mask-clad AK-47 toting guys came and kicked the door and he started shooting back with a .45.

"The first nigga I missed, he ducked and ran out the house. The second nigga I hit him. The third nigga I hit him five times. I walked up to him and I was going to blow his brain out, but I didn't want brain all over my couch. So I was like, 'Fuck this shit,' and I didn't shoot him. I took off his mask, looked at him and I knew who he was. He was one of my homeboys, so it was an inside job. So I was like, 'Damn, that's fucked up.' I took the mask off and I shot him again. I didn't shoot him in the head though—I didn't kill him. I shot him in the back. I went back in the room, shut the door and the police came."

Soulja Boy says although the masked men appeared to be armed, no one shot back. The rapper says when the police arrived, they told him about Georgia's self-defense laws. "The streets called me a snitch. They said, 'You snitched because you told the police. 'I'm like, 'Blood. I'm not no snitch. I didn't have a choice.' Once the police got there and saw my whole house shot up and blood everywhere… the door kicked in. I had to say something."

He said he was driving in the dark in his BMW near his Malibu home when the roads started flooding and water started rising into his car.

"Once my tires started spinning, it was raining so much that the rain kept rising up. When the water start rising up, it start coming in the window, coming in the car. I jumped out the sunroof. I got out the sunroof and stood on top of the car. It was like 50 cars this way, and 50 cars that way. It was like 15 feet between us and nobody could get to us. […]When I jumped off the car and got in the water, the shit came up to my belly button and the water was pushing you. Mind you, we're right beside the ocean. The car was damn near about to go in the ocean, that's how strong the current was pushing the shit."

"Niggas talking about Kanye…nigga, I'm that nigga. Kanye came in here [The Breakfast Club] talking about I'm Walt Disney. Nigga, you ain't none of that. Why you ain't come out with shit then? I came out with a whole video game console. I'm the first rapper to do that in history. You kissed them folks ass at Louis Vuitton and you kissed those folks ass at Adidas and you came out with two goofy ass pair of tennis shoes. […] You crying every week on Twitter about Drake. You gotta stop that shit, bruh. You look lame, bruh. […] You supporting Trump, bruh? What the fuck wrong with you?

"Drake?! The nigga that got bodied by Pusha T? The nigga that is hiding his kid from the world, but his world want to hide from the kid? Aubrey Graham in the wheelchair? Drake?! […] Stop playing with me in here like I didn't teach Drake everything he know. Y'all ain't hear his first song? 'Tell me, what's really going on / Drizzy back up in this thing, I'm ready. What's hannening?' That's Soulja! That's my bar! He copied my whole fucking flow. Word for word, bar for bar. Don't act like I didn't make Drake, nigga."

This is honestly not even an ounce of some of Soulja Boy's claims that went on during the interview. Watch the interview in full for yourself.

Kristin Corry is a staff writer for Noisey. Follow her on Twitter.