A Really Very Bad Christmas Playlist

There are some truly terrible songs out there. Most of which are generally avoidable if you aren't forced to listen to the radio by some bro on public transport who insists on playing it through his phone out loud—nobody is impressed, pal. Everyone is absolutely enraged. 

Unfortunately for everyone, Christmas happens to be the one time of year that bad music is played everywhere, all the time, and for some reason louder than usual. This is because every human being who has ever put their voice to anything has, at one time or another, made the decision to record either a single song about Christmas or an entire album about it—or in Michael Bublé's case, approximately one hundred and fifty billion albums about it.

The really annoying thing about "bad Christmas music," though, is that it's bad but it's not often entertainingly bad. It's not enjoyably bad. You won't laugh, you'll just find yourself staring off into the distance with eyes glazed over, numb of all feeling as a crowd of last-minute-shoppers snake around you, while "Santa Clause is Coming To Town" trickles through the mall PA for the one thousandth time that day.

So! Why not jack it all up a little bit and take a foray into the worst Christmas songs ever recorded. We made a playlist for you and everything! Here are some of the worst Christmas songs we could find, in no particular order because, frankly, they all tie for absolute worst place.

So send this to your worst enemy, or play it while your mother cooks lunch for fifty because you're an inherently evil child, and keep an ear out for Lady Gaga's yuletide masterpiece "Christmas Tree," where "Christmas tree" is a euphemism for her vagina.