Remember when Drake face-swapped himself with Obama on the last day of the presidency? That was it for me. That was when I thought, "yeah, this is Peak Drake. He cannot possibly go anywhere else from here. He cannot possibly get anymore egoistic and yet fragile. The two sides of his personality have met their final form. This is it now."
Well. It looks like Drake took my doubt as a personal challenge, because it pretty much now appears that he's out here convinced that he can talk down people who are poised to jump off bridges. This is a thing that has happened.
The Manchester Evening News reports that early Saturday morning, after finishing his Boy Meets World tour concert in the city, Drake's tourbus got stuck in traffic caused by road closures. These were due to a man standing on the wrong side of the barriers on a motorway bridge, where police were on the scene (thankfully police have confirmed that the man is now safe).
At this point, it seems as though Drake's spidey senses started tingling. I imagine that as he sat there, stuck in traffic on the A57, he knew that he was the hero this moment needed. Head in his hands – I see him there – he agonised for a moment, before arising, under the weight of his special new Stone Island chain, throwing off his favourite post-show fur blankie. Was this his purpose all along?
I ask because according to Inspector Phil Sturgeon, Drake had someone offer his counselling services: "One officer was approached by a male from a tour van caught up in the traffic congestion, claiming to be part of Drake's entourage. He offered for Drake to speak to the male on the bridge, if that would help. The offer was declined with thanks."
"The offer was declined with thanks."
"The offer was declined with thanks."
Just like that, Drake's dreams of making a difference were crushed. He was no longer 'Drake, Hero.' He was back to being just plain 'Drake, Multi-Millionaire Rapper.' Sigh.
…And, friends, this is how we reached Peak Drake. We're post-Drake now. Truly, I am not sure I'll survive it if there's anymore Drake for Drake to give.
Follow Lauren on Twitter.(Image by The Come Up Show, modified, via Flickr)
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