Volume 9 Issue 5
Electric Independence
High school sucked. I was short, had thick-ass glasses, and dressed funny. I was bad at sports and wasn’t a huge hit with the ladies.
15 Minutes Of Fame
The last time VICE saw Gold Chains was in March. The hairy San Franciscan sex dwarf was scampering around a thickly carpeted VIP lounge with a cordless mic in his hand.
Ask The Farm
What is the big deal with plants and animals becoming extinct? Things were coming and going billions of years before we got here.
Coke, Booze, and Bitches
We're in Dresden, the once beautiful East German city that was flattened by Allied bombers during World War II and later blighted by grimly functional Communist architecture.
10 "Seminal" Bands
OK let's cut the bullshit. Nobody's heard Brian Eno before, The Talking Heads are crap, and, besides one album and one other song, Sonic Youth are unlistenable noise. Right?
Beats And Rhymes
Someone needs to do a story on the Rhyme Syndicate. Think about it - Ice-T's former crew had a lot of cats down with it. A lot of important cats. Donald D. Nat the Cat (I want to do a remake of "While You've Been Waiting," if you're down with it...
Tidbits - The Bands That Suckkk Issue
Hello, my name is Marc and I am unemployed. It's been three months now, and it's not so bad really.
Space Crystals 2000
Space Crystals 2000 are from the northern Germany and manage to combine intensity and a tendency towards melancholy.
My America
DRUG WAR ENDS IN HUGE SUCCESS!!! There's a headline you'll never see, unless it's Backwards Day (which I am still trying to get Congress to officially recognize).