Volume 13 Issue 9
Shiny Grills
Rappers are just big kids, right? They dress in those enormous, oversized T-shirts and baggy trousers like little children wearing their dad's clothes. They also love shiny things.
Tourettes Sux
Remember when you were a kid and the teacher made you name birds on a poster in front of the whole class and one of them was called Bearded Tit, and ever since that day you were "tit girl?" Now imagine that, but instead you yelled "motherfucker."
Kids in Toyland
If your parents were hippies, chances are you were only allowed to play with stuff you built yourself, or found in the woods. But if you had at least one corporate kid in your class you'll know that there was some good shit out there too.
My Dad Signs Bands
Once my Dad came home with a CD and he was like: "Listen to this!" We listened to it and it was really, really good. I wanted to hear it again, have the CD, meet them and see them live.
Jokes For Kids
Joke shops are paradise! In amongst the edible underwear, penis-shaped lighters, and wind-up models of dogs having sex with women, there are tons of brightly colored, cutely packaged instruments of sabotage and vandalism that promise children not only...
Back To School
What I did this summer: We got a dog! But then we had to sell it. My brother was too young and didn’t understand that he hurts the dog if he hits it, so it could have been dangerous for him. It was very sad.
Dance, Dance, Revolution!
Are you down with the JammX? Um, they're only about to take over the entire kidz music scene.
Working It Out
Hey kids! In case you live in a cave, you already know that Jews hate Muslims and Muslims hate Jews and the whole planet is probably going to implode in a black puff of dust because these fucking guys can't just suck it up and shake hands.
New York Kids
Anthony Long, 17 Best thing about New York in the summer: "Chinatown is ours after dark."