The last twenty four hours has been… something else, hasn't it? We, the world, met the "male romper". God knows what we did to deserve it… Ha ha just kidding we all know: We destroyed the planet and everyone on it. So it's probably safe to say we are well on our way into that apocalypse that all street-corner preachers and Mormon leaders have been warning us about. Luckily its too late to repent so we might as well enjoy the decline. Starting with the male romper?Conceived by some kids at Northwestern University in Chicago, this innovative garment takes the very popular (at Coachella) romper—you know, the shirt and shorts that are attached and cannot be separated, for fashion reasons—and boldly says: "This one's for men, people!!! Men!!!!!"According to promotional photos that are advertising the romper, the thing comes in strictly "You can't arrest me, my dad's a lawyer" colours and patterns, and is designed to be worn by men with very muscular thighs who, after being trapped inside a General Pants when a weight-baring wall collapsed back in 2014 and being rescued by firefighters, have had a sort of incurable Stockholm Syndrome for mirrored sunglasses and very tight clothing. Poor things.The company's—titled RompHim!!!!—Kickstarter has now raised more than seven times their target amount, which is approximately 98% down to the meme-ification of the thing, and 2% down to those unfortunate victims of the 2014 General Pants Flagship Store Disaster. Who are in our prayers.
Advertisement
So, the RompHim romper is fucking happening. Big time. It's little shorts, it's tiny sleeves. All greenlit, it seems. And so, naturally, there are now many questions at hand…First and foremost, will the romper force the legendary Australian music festival Stereosonic to return? It seems only fair. Stereosonic was the runway of the world when it came cheeky pastel-coloured clothing on men. You know? Despite the gap in the market, Falls Festival and Splendour in the Grass have done little to accommodate for the legions of oiled-up, muscular men whose nipples need be seen by the light of day to the soundtrack of that Crookers remix of "Day N Night". And that, my friends, a goddamned shame.Consider this a call out: Somebody bring Stereo back. I mean, what else is RompHim gonna do with all that extra cash? Do the right thing, people.