Why Do You Love America?

“Oh, the horrors of consumerism and vapid, celebrity culture! Oh, the obese people yelling horrible racist things and using scooters purchased with government-provided disability checks to get to voting booths where they pull the lever for Republicans! Oh, the cruelty and crassness of our entertainment! Why can’t we live like the people in Canada, who are slimmer and only slightly colder?” Shut the fuck up, hippie. You love America. Everyone fuckin’ loves America. We asked some people why they loved the greatest country on earth. U-S-A! U-S-A!

Tom, retired cop: You can do anything you want over here. Nobody's gonna shoot you or chop your head off because you don't read the Koran. I love America. I was in Vietnam. Fought for it, and I'd go back tomorrow if they needed me.

What country is the opposite of America?
Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan. Any place where women can't wear lipstick.

Adam, café owner: They have good coffee!

Anything else?
Easy living.

If America didn't exist, where would you live?
Poland.

Why?
That's where I was born.

What's the difference between Poland and America?
America is more open. And better coffee.

Michael, lighting assistant: It's the only place I've ever lived. I grew up in Hawaii, New York, and California. It's a beautiful country.

If America didn't exist, where would you live?
Tokyo.

Why?
There's lots of videos to be shot there.

What's the opposite of America?
China, just because of business ethics.

Estela, student: There are so many things to do here, it keeps me busy being here.

If America didn't exist where would you live?
My country I guess.

Where are you from?
Lima, Peru.

How long ago did you live here?
Six years ago.

What's the biggest difference between Peru and America?
The people. The culture here is different. Here it's much more open. Here you can go out 24 hours, you can work, and be a student at the same time. You can do anything. [Weeps patriotic tears]

Katie, teacher: I think, uh, the freedom, and uh, family? That's a really good question, it's kind of embarrassing. I guess it's the freedom and the democratic process that hopefully works.

Does it ever not work?
I think sometimes people are swayed by advertising and gut reactions and don't really think things through.

If America didn't exist, where would you live?
My husband's Danish, so I guess Denmark.

What country is the opposite of America?
I guess Afghanistan.

Why is Afghanistan the opposite of America?
They don't provide liberties to all people and it's a state driven by religion versus the US where we strive [rolls eyes] to have religious freedoms.

Jacob, works in construction: It's a democratic country. I'm Jewish and they accept all types of religions.

If America didn't exist where would you live?
Good question. Probably Israel.

Why?
I'm Jewish.

Previously - Prostitution Should Be Legal, Right?