This Blowjob-Powered Dildo Keyboard Is Perfect If Your Job Sucks Dick

This article was not written using a dildo connected to a keyboard that types as you suck dick—but it could have been.

The Gagwriter, a prototype by Devious-Devices, is a 3D-printed dick attached to a stand and some cleverly-placed buttons and wiring that map points on the penis to keystrokes. Maneuvering one’s tongue (and nose, if you’re trying to hit the “deep throat” key for the spacebar) around the plastic frenulum, tip, and shaft creates different combinations for specific letters. Two licks to the right of the shaft type the letter “A,” hitting the tip then right types “B,” and so on. 

Devious-Devices, who asked to be cited using his online pseudonym to keep his kink projects and offline life separate, told me that the Gagwriter started as a pandemic project. When the company he worked for sent employees home to work, he found himself with a lot of free time—time which he filled with building the perfect dick-sucking keyboard. 

He described himself as a tinkerer, and has created several projects that fall under the DIY-BDSM category, including the Asscade (an arcade case with a hole cut out for an ass) and various gag-based creations, like a breakaway featherduster gag. The Gagwriter was inspired by a previous keyboard-connected gag project that similarly used tongue-activated buttons to tap out letters. The Gagwriter takes that concept in a different, more literal direction: Instead of a ball gag-esque design that’s strapped directly on the face, it uses a 3D-printed penis as the controller.

Being a DIY project, anyone can make their own Gagwriter at home. It’s powered using an Arduino board and a combination of 3D printing and light woodworking for the base and controller. Instructions for how to build it are on DeviantArt, as well as the Cult3D website. It also comes with a tutorial game for learning to type, and a reference sheet for key combinations. Devious-Devices recently added a buzzer that makes a beep whenever a button is pressed, for better typing feedback.

Devious-Devices said that his significant other is his product tester on all his projects. “I build the things and she tests them. Who has the harder job depends on the project but it’s usually her,” he said, adding that she writes notes and shopping lists with the Gagwriter. 

He passed along her analysis of the experience: “Mentally, it reminded me of learning the controls for a new video game—tricky at first, but soon you start to pick it up, and then it’s pretty fun to see how much you can improve,” he quoted her as saying. “After a while, you stop needing to refer to the chart. Physically, it’s challenging because there’s no give and the buttons do actually need a little pressure to work (otherwise, you’d be hitting the wrong ones by accident constantly). You really learn the limits on how your tongue can move. I enjoy figuring out the best approach for each key. That backspace always gets me the first couple of times in a session.” 

Although he first posted about the project on Reddit a year ago, it started going viral on social media this week after the Buttplug.io account—run by Kyle Machulis, the creator of such projects as the “Elden Cockring” game controller and an Animal Crossing-enabled buttplug—tweeted about building one:

This is the first example he’s seen of someone building a Gagwriter in the wild, Devious-Devices said, despite there being a few hundred downloads of the build files across the websites he’s hosted them. “I hope it takes off, especially with remixes—I would love seeing what people will do with it,” he said. “Anything they come up with is good with me.”