Religion: New Vrindaban

I do a weekly show at East Village Radio called “Chillin Island” on 1st and 1st in Manhattan (the “nexus of the universe” in that one Seinfeld episode). Just about a block away is the first ISKCON (also known as the Hare Krishnas) temple ever. Sri Prabhupada (the “real” Indian ISKCON founder) rented a storefront at 26 2nd Avenue with two of his followers in 1966 and began spreading his new movement. The number of converts soon grew too large and the center closed (before being leased and reopened in the early '90s).

I always feel strange around Hare Krishnas when they try to hand me Bhagavad Gita pamphlets, like, “Hey man, look at me… You can hold onto that pamphlet.” There’s also a guilt element related to their convert’s zeal and my own slapped-together “religious practices.” I spent a few weeks eating meat a few months ago. I don’t meditate. I don’t practice yoga—though I did yoga poses in India in 1994 when I was nine and a lady made fun of me for being fat (which I probably deserved). But mostly what makes me feel weird about them is all the running around in saffron-robed with ponytails in downtown New York or the lurking with pamphlets in the subway tunnels.

I stopped eating meat in the 7th grade because my Gujarati friend told me not to and I figured, “Why the fuck not!” He told me to look out for “hidden” gelatin in the ingredients of things in my refrigerator, which I started doing religiously. I remember gelatin being in a lot of unexpected shit. Shortly after that he told me to stop eating onion and garlic as well and I realized he was an idiot, but I held onto the vegetarianism (for the most part). I would lapse occasionally, especially when I started smoking weed a few years later and couldn’t not eat “Sesame Chicken," but that passed quickly. As far as meditation, pranayama, yoga, etc., I figure I’ll get into that stuff soon when I’m done "wilding out” and “doing my thing”.

Ultimately, Hare Krishnas seem like good people. Any alternative to fully participating in the materialist and disposable mass culture/society we’ve developed has to be a good thing. Who am I to say these people shouldn’t pursue their version of Hinduism because they’re not Indian and had a bad breakup their freshman year of college?

Anyway, I was watching an episode of the Investigation Discovery show Deadly Devotion a few days ago about a Hare Krishna murder in the 90s. Basically, Keith Gordon Ham—the son of a Baptist minister—goes to college, enters into a gay relationship with a man named Henry Wheeler, drops out of school, and moves to New York. There, he starts eating acid and actively promoting its use (at the same time, enrolling in Columbia University briefly before dropping out again). How did people back then get accepted to these prestigious schools without being particularly good students? Thank god for the waves of immigration after the mid-1960s. America, we own your schools. After this period, he and Wheeler decide they want to go to India to “find a Guru” (whatever that means), which they don’t succeed in doing and return to America.

I imagine they went up to literally any brown dude and asked if they could follow him around. His return to New York seems to dovetail with the beginnings of ISKCON and he becomes a close follower of Prabhupada. Eventually, he forms an ashram in an unincorporated town in West Virginia that comes to be known as New Vrindaban, where he builds a giant “Palace of Gold” to commemorate Prabhupda. He goes crazy with power, claiming to be the sole disciple of Prabhupada’s teachings, and is convicted of using the services of a loyal band of goons to kill an outspoken opponent of his, former follower Stephen A. Bryant, for attempting to expose him as a maniac and false prophet-type dude. He goes to jail for a few years and is then released. Oh, also: he was a pedophile. In 1987, ISKCON expelled Kirtananda and the New Vrindaban community for “moral and theological deviations,” reinstating the community in 1998.

The entire time I was watching the show I had the nagging feeling that I had been to New Vrindaban and walked through the Palace of Gold. My maternal grandmother lived with us for a time in the 1990s and I have a memory of sitting in a field with Hare Krishnas eating extremely bland Indian food. My grandmother kept shitting on the food. There was also watermelon juice, a cup of which I couldn’t finish. One of the Hare Krsnas was a nerdy white dude with glasses who complained about the cost of the watermelons when I went to throw it out. Finally these disconnected memories made sense: New Vrindaban and the Palace of Gold.

In an attempt to gather more information, I interviewed my Hindu, Indian parents on the phone. Here’s what they had to say:

Noisey: Did we go to New Vrindaban?
Pops: Yeah, we went there in 1987.

What was it like?
Pops: At that time, we just followed a map. We asked people along the way. We reached the Palace of Gold. We spent five or six hours there. Outside there was a beautiful view of the mountains, and gardens. There was a museum inside and a gift shop.

What did they sell in the gift shop?
Pops: They sold all kinds of crystals, and Indian handicrafts made of sandalwood and different materials. They were also selling sandalwood incense (agarbathi). We saw the Prabhupada statue. We listened to an hour of chanting and praying.

There is a pond with water nearby where we ate, I remember.

Do you remember the watermelon juice and bad food?
Ma: I don’t remember that at all. They gave us food. Also, you were only two years old. You were too young to have thrown anything out or talked to anybody. We bought the watermelon juice for you because you always liked watermelon, but they didn’t give watermelon juice out at the temple.

What do you think of Hare Krishnas?
Ma: At first I thought they were people who didn’t have any goals in life and were attracted to something they could belong to. They’re free of their restrictions, they can do whatever they want. After some time, I met a couple of them in New York and when I spoke to them, they were people who really believed in Hinduism and Krishna Tatvam.

How did you feel when I stopped eating meat?
Ma: I didn’t really care, but you were pretty thin at that time. I was worried you were not having enough protein. When you started eating lentils and other beans, I felt okay. It’s a good living, but you have to plan it. It’s a way of life, you have to make sure you don’t lack vitamins, minerals and proteins. B vitamins and iron, etc.

Alright, thanks!

Well, it looks like my mind fabricated the memory of the asshole Hare Krishna guy and my grandmother hating the bland Indian food. Sorry guys! Not sure how that happened! I suppose there’s something to be said about the unreliability of memory, but I’ll save that for another day.

Dapwell was a very cute kid. He's on Twitter — @dapwell