Tired? Drugstore Chocolate. Wired? This Japanese Valentine’s Day Candy

Queue up literally any movie or TV show involving Valentine’s Day and you’ll be battered with predictable scenes of dudes bumpin’ bouquets of colorful flowers and heart-shaped boxes of candy. Rose petal trails to surprisingly hot baths that have been stagnant for hours. Extremely mid bottles of sparkling wine. People reconciling over very boring meals in restaurants that look like they peaked in 1998. Well, here at VICE, we say hell no to boring-ass Valentine’s Day experiences! If you really love someone, you should be base jumping off a mountain with an engagement ring or hiring Gordon Ramsay to cook them dinner. In the same vein, life’s simply too short to hand the love of your life some bullshit grocery store chocolate.

But if you do go the candy route, please do something interesting. Like, maybe get some absolutely dank imported Japanese candy curated by people who literally get paid to think about cool snacks every day. In our experience, in times of culinary need, Japanese subscription snack company TokyoTreat goddamn comes thru. Want some awesome candy and treats for V-Day? Well, if you’re actually trying to get laid, consider that TokyoTreat’s Valentine’s Day box comes with 15-20 full size Japanese snacks. Do we know what exactly is in it? No, dude! That’s the point! But we do know from past orders that you’re up for things like rare Kit Kat flavors, amazing and weird chips, and awesome candies (like Pocky and Crunky). You might see some unique drinks and ramen, or some limited-edition baked goods. 

We literally can’t know what’s included in this box, but for under $40—which is way less money than you’d frantically spend at the grocery store at 5:30 p.m. on Feb. 14 on the way home from work—you’re guaranteed some extremely cool stuff. We don’t wanna tell you what to do, but if we were trying to surprise a special someone, we’d prob pair this with a pizza, a bottle of pét-nat, a Kenny G record (we stan), and maybe a fun toy (you know, for after the candy).

On that note, chocolate is literally an aphrodisiac, which means there is a 100% chance the recipient of this excellent gift will become so horny. Luckily, you still have a few weeks to train your mind and body for having the best Valentine’s Day of your life. Oh, and make sure to use the code PIKALOVE to receive some Japan-exclusive Pokémon treats for free with your subscription order.

Order TokyoTreat’s Valentine’s Day snack box here.

The Rec Room staff independently selected all of the stuff featured in this story. Want more reviews, recommendations, and red-hot deals? Sign up for our newsletter.