This Guy Attacked a 78-Year-Old Man in a Costco Over a Sample of Nutella

Ah, noble, dulcet Nutella.

Salt and spice may very well have moved mountains and built empires, but the chocolaty temptress that is Ferrero's Nutella actually has the alchemical ability to turn one's heart to mush as luscious as the iconic spread itself.

At least, that's what it seemed to do to one 24-year-old Angeleno who unceremoniously resorted to assaulting an elderly man for a free sample of the stuff. Seriously.

Just yesterday, prosecutors charged Burbank resident Derrick Gharabighi with elder abuse after he allegedly punched a 78-year-old man over free Nutella waffle samples being handed out at one Los Angeles Costco store.

The sweet-toothed assailant pleaded not guilty during a court appearance yesterday afternoon and is currently being held on $50,000 bail. If convicted, Gharabighi could end up facing a maximum sentence of 11 years. How much black-market Nutella do you think he could get his malevolent hands during that lengthy prison stay?

Apparently, this whole sordid affair began after 78-year-old Sahak Sahakian noticed that Gharabighi was attempting to hoard free Nutella waffle samples and simply asked him to only take one so that others—such as Sahakian himself--might also enjoy the freebies.

"He takes two, three of them, left one," explained Sahakian. He added, "I want to take that one and he catch my hand. I say, 'What are you doing? Let me eat this one.' He hit me and the blood started."

According to prosecutors, that's when our Man of The Year decided to seek retribution for the affront and punched the senior citizen in his justice-pursuing face.

According to CNN affiliate KTLA, Sahakian was then taken to the hospital to treat a cut and swelling on the left side of his face. In a filmed interview with CBS Los Angeles, the elderly gentleman was seen still wearing a bandage. He claimed to have felt dizzy for roughly ten minutes after the unprovoked assault.

When asked what punitive measures the young man should face for his actions, Sahakian said, "The government or police have to teach him that this is bad."

Others, however, might disagree. Gharabighi's Instagram profile—which is positively littered with selfies of himself sticking his tongue out, with the occasional weed and breast pics to really round things out—has since been overrun with comments deriding the 24-year-old.

#chillin #bored #818 … When you find that one person you will realize why the other people didn't work out

A photo posted by Derrick Gharabighi (@babyface81869) on Aug 18, 2014 at 9:49pm PDT

For instance, sarahstar1031 had the poise to point out, "You punched an old man over a goddamn Nutella sample?! How fucking smart are you, you worthless dipshit. I'll pray for your mother because I know she's embarrassed to call you her son."

Acsongco, on the other hand, stuck with the tried-and-true method of insulting one of Gharabighi's classic tongue-out selfies, telling him that "Your [sic] gonna be making those faces for your cell mate in jail buddy boy."

Listen, people. We know chocolate-hazelnut spread is truly the nectar of the Gods, and when waffles are thrown into the mix, the result is a delicacy no mortal can resist. But let's keep the battles out of Costco, OK?

Why can't we just go back to the good ol' days of meeting one's snack-ponent on a field of honour at dawn? And here's another idea for the chivalrous out there: if you must pick a fight, let it be with someone even remotely your own age.