Here Are 20 Jackasses Who Tweeted about Driving Drunk While Driving Drunk

It’s Friday, which means you’re potentially thinking about finishing off a tough week by sucking back some sweet, sweet booze. (I, for one, am wearing a t-shirt depicting a cartoon 40 passed out in his own malt vomit.) But just because you like to get blackfaded, yell along to Kelly Clarkson, and generally do your best to wash away the terror of everyday life in a tidal wave of gin and tonic doesn’t mean you needn’t be responsible.

It’s been three years since the New York Times said that texting while driving is worse than driving drunk, and I can’t imagine that tweeting is any less distracting. So, yeah, you probably shouldn’t do that. But we’re humans, and we have a knack for breaking every bad idea barrier out there. So, as a reminder that nearly 11,000 people died in alcohol-impaired accidents in 2009, here are a bunch of people that tweeted about driving drunk while driving drunk. SMDH.

Tweeting &driving while ur drunk is kinda difficult…

— Chi-Chi Rodriguez (@MzMaryJane420) June 8, 2012

No shit?

Smh at me driving and tweeting drunk so Wat idgaf

— tha 2012 Lisa Turtle (@ChrissiBaxter) June 8, 2012

I love the idea of calling yourself out on being dumb while broadcasting it to the world.

Drunk Driving & Tweeting<<<<<<

— $kitz▲ (@KidSwajjur) June 4, 2012

Who’s a drunk tweeter? This guy.

I wasnt that drunk I was just tweeting and driving

— Miss Marvelous (@MarveLous_KriS) June 3, 2012

I only had seven wine coolers!

Currently drunk tweeting while driving

— Kyle(@SupremeStrokage) June 3, 2012

“Currently veering off a cliff”

@Yall_Aint_Real sooo u tweeting about the fact that u drunk driving?

— Thugnificent (@AfricanPrize) May 31, 2012

Deer?

@kellieleers driving and tweeting drunk yolo

— Lauren Kubit (@laurenekubit) June 8, 2012

Sure, yolo, but not for long.

Never tweeting and driving while drunk ever again. Thank you nice cop for he warning. You’re my favorite

— Savannah Mooneyhan (@Sahvinuh) June 8, 2012

Who the fuck was this cop?

Drunk smh and driving and tweeting

— idgaF (@YEAitsme_CHE) June 8, 2012

This one is really emo.

Drunk driving and tweetingsolo

— Randy Bryant (@Randy_Beez21) June 8, 2012

“Taking a crap, reading a magazine, paired”

@dan_horohoe drunk driving while tweeting, stop that.

— hannah clendenon (@Hannahhh4242) June 8, 2012

A voice of reason!

as im tweeting & driving drunk

— v e e(@veebabayy) June 8, 2012

Drinking, driving, and tweeting is still no excuse for sentence fragments.

Especially drunk RT @YoungLunatic504: Fuck what they say tweeting or texting while driving is fun…

— destination hell(@24shaft) June 8, 2012

20 bones says this guy drives an IROC.

@Don_FOE_BoY you’re not suppose to be driving drunk and then tweeting it..makes it worse.

— T T (@reesieboo) June 8, 2012

Either that’s a typo, or “dears” is the darkest prelude to ghost driving in history.

I am too.drunk.to.be driving lol probably should be tweeting lol

— Paul Michael (@Munzarelli) June 6, 2012

That’s not a real website.

@errybodyluvZACH So u talking on the phone, tweeting, and driving drunk?? YOLO for real huh?

— K’la (@klathelyricist) June 6, 2012

“Skulling bleach while playing Russian Roulette, YOLO”

I def shouldn’t be driving right now, but more importantly, I shouldn’t be tweeting #drunk

— Puja Shah (@pshahhh) June 6, 2012

“Hey Twitter should I be doing this thing that I don’t think I should be doing?” Hits deer

And you tweeting ☹ #Smdh RT @Percy_Petch: Drunk. Driving home by myself. Can’t see shit in the dark.

— Nunu* (@loverofInk) June 8, 2012

Another emo one here.

Driving drunk and tweeting ☁

— iDrink and youLOSE (@HOPon_aHORSE) June 7, 2012

What does the cloud mean?

@Meagowoman @alexaaaaaaaadrunk tweeting while driving.. She’s my inspiration :’)#soproud lol

— Michelle Gonzalez (@OMGitsChellllle) June 7, 2012

Inspirational? Call Paramount!

"@Jahy_Knyx: Omg I’m too drunk for this car ride to McDonald’s." ARE YOU DRIVING DRUNK AND TWEETING AT THE SAME TIME #skills

— gordon hobbs (@gordon_hobbs) June 6, 2012

Boom.

Follow Derek Mead on Twitter: @derektmead.

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