SACRED BONES ARE BONING IN THE BASEMENT

In the basement of Brooklyn's Academy Records, Caleb Braaten and Keegan are silkscreening and assembling the limited-edition versions of the new Pink Noise and Nice Face LPs. I am there too. I'm not sure what I was expecting from the Sacred Bones headquarters but I didn't expect it to look like a serial murderer's torture garage. The stairs to the basement are creaky and shitty and the basement is full of so much goddamn shit, you have no idea. Mostly old children's toys. The Sacred Bones production nook is hidden back in the dirt. Caleb and Keegan glue and screenprint while listening to records on a crummy little portable record player and discussing whatever it is that interests them.

Sacred Bones has existed for a couple of years now and is your favorite record label. Wait, I'm sorry, not sure who's reading this. For all I know your taste in music is awful. But Sacred Bones is my favorite record label. They put out things that are generally dark but not necessarily "goth" or "death rock." Stuff by Gary War, Zola Jesus, Blank Dogs, and Moon Duo, to name about half of the unfuckwithables they represent. The records all have beautiful design and hand-assembled packaging, like crazy wax-sealed sleeves and handmade velvet bags. They also re-release old records that were lost or poorly distributed in their native era. They may be making the highest quality and most beautiful records that don't cost a million dollars on some Death In June fanatic's ebay page right now.

I descended the stairs to their production cranny and distracted Caleb and Keegan while they made their affordable objects of wonder.

Vice: What's the most intensive assembling process you've had on a record?
Caleb: Carl Simmons for sure. We pressed 400 of those. We had to glue the covers to every sleeve. It had three inserts: a booklet, a hand-stampled envelope-- Mine didn't come with a booklet.
It's inside the fucking envelope! You gotta open the envelope. It's a handstamped envelope with a wax seal that contains a bonus 7".

If I open the envelope and listen to the record, can I bring it back here and have you guys reseal it for me?
Sure.
Keegan: We stamped "Please open this" on it for a reason, you know?

Maybe you should have used an exclamation point. How much longer can Sacred Bones sustain itself? Are you guys going to be down here, hand-assembling records with long, long beards and stacks of AARP everywhere?
Caleb: I just had a long beard, but to answer your question, I suspect we'll be putting out records well into the next millennium.
Keegan: I can't grow one.

What does the name Sacred Bones reference?
Caleb: I don't know. Nothing.
Keegan: I asked the same question and got a dodgy answer.

What about the logo of a snake eating itself around a pyramid? Or is it a triangle?
Caleb: It's just a triangle.

Or is it a woman's upside down pubic hair?
It's a triangle.

Maybe the snake is the Crass snake but instead of spelling a bunch of letters he's been straightened out.
It's whatever you want it to be.

I want it to be a woman's pubes.
Then it is.

Is Sacred Bones like the logo, a snake eating itself? Or is it like a snake eating other people?
What? I don't know.

OK, hear me out on this… So you've got this label called Sacred Bones, but what if you also started making comedy records under the name Silly Bones?
I'm totally into that. I like Nick Swardson. Maybe I'll just change it up and put out all comedy records.

What other offshoots of Sacred Bones have you got planned?
As many as possible.

How about a hardcore label called Slammy Bones? Or you could put out some crust records under the name Smelly Bones?
Those sound good. Ask Keegan about Billy Childish.

OK, Keegan what do--
Keegan: He's one of the great modern minds. He's a prolific guy.

What do you think of Caleb, Keegan?
All those things I just said about Childish? Invert them.

Is he a modern mind or an oldtime mind?
I think he'd like to be perceived as an oldtime mind but he's got a fucking iPhone and a Twitter. He communicates in forty characters or less. Billy Childish… how can you hate a guy who's put out 130 LPs?
Caleb: Pretty easily.

Back to you, Caleb, when did you know you were going to devote your life to making beautiful objects?
I've always wanted to be involved in making things. The only part of school I was ever good at was art class. My art teachers didn't like me. I stole a car during art class one time.

What were you like in high school?
Similar to now but I listened to more Jane's Addiction and smoked more weed. I gotta take a phone call. You finish this with Keegan.
Keegan: I'd really prefer to be wearing a suit and fake beard to complete this thing.

No time. What's your deal with the label, do you co-run it with Caleb or is he like your boss?
I've been working on the label since the first record. Everything this label's put out that's been screenprinted I've handled at least once. Overall it's still definitely Caleb's thing. I think it's authentic and he really loves it and is passionate about making a quality product instead of something disposable. People are always impressed by the amount of work we put in too, but sometimes think it's not a necessary thing. We think it is a necessary thing. I always placed a lot of importance on toiling. Maybe we've replaced substance with toiling. I guess that's sort of dangerous, but I think there's something to be said for working hard on something.

INTERVIEW BY NICHOLAS GAZIN

Hey, if you're in Austin, you should check out the Sacred Bones showcase at the Spider House Cafe. For those of you who can't make it, Caleb gave us some of his favorite songs as well as notes on the songs to inform your face with. You can listen to them one at a time, or in a gigantic gooey cluster as soon as we figure out how to get this mixpod thing working.

Track 1: Vermillion Sands "Where Was He From"
[audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/blogs/en/files/2010/03/01-where-was-he-from.mp3]
This is the first track from the EP that we released in December. I think this record was criminally overlooked. It's a little different from some of the other records we've released--maybe that's why it didn't get the attention that it deserved. Six dark, country-twinged songs from an Italian lady-fronted group. Just listen to the greatness of this song!

Track 2: The Dutchess and the Duke "Sunrise/Sunset"
[audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/blogs/en/files/2010/03/02-sunrise-_-sunset.mp3]
Hands down my favorite record of 2009. I listened to it every day when I got it and still listen to it nearly every day. It's one of the darkest, most heartbreaking records I've heard in a long time. Every song on this record has been my favorite at one point or another, but at the moment the title track is my jam. I'm so thrilled that I'm going to be able to work with these guys this year.

Track 3: Nerve City "Sleepwalker"
[audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/blogs/en/files/2010/03/03-sleepwalker.mp3]
This is the title track for the upcoming Nerve City EP we're putting out in May. Nerve City is the brain child of Jason Boyer. In three years he's released two full-length tapes, two singles, a ten-inch EP, and just in the last month (the great) Sweet Rot Records released a collection of his songs from 2007-2008. Completely essential to any collection. Track 4: UV Pop "No Songs Tomorrow"
[audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/blogs/en/files/2010/03/04-no-songs-tomorrow.mp3]
UV Pop is the alter ego of John K White, who was once described as "a slight white boy with guitar, saxophone, and Revox; and the gift of sound and vision." This the title track from his first record. John croons a lonely song over the sounds of sparse drum machine and minimal guitars. Look for a re-issue of this classic record on Sacred Bones in 2010. Track 5: Trop Tard "Je T'Attends"
[audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/blogs/en/files/2010/03/05-je-tattends.mp3]
Trop Tard (which translates to American as "Too Late") is part of the 80s French underground cold world. Unlike the majority of those bands, Trop Tard uses no synths. Just guitar, bass, drum machine, and vocals. Like most 80s post punk bands, Joy Division is a clear influence, but in the case of Trop Tard there is a desperation in the music that even Mr. Curtis couldn't fuck with. Track 6: Gary War "Reality Protest"
[audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/blogs/en/files/2010/03/06-reality-protest.mp3]
Gary War has some of the best song titles of all time. Reality Protest!! Highspeed Drift!! This is probably my new favorite Gary War track. I love the breakdown in the middle of the song. This originally come out as a European tour single that was a split release between Sacred Bones and Holidays in Italy. It also just came out stateside, so check it out!

EFFI BRIEST - LONG SHADOW (OFFICIAL VIDEO) from HOLY COW COLLECTIVE on Vimeo.

Track 7: Effi Briest "Rhizomes"
[audio: http://vicerecords.com/download/rhizomes.mp3]
This is the title track from their May 2010 LP on which we are currently working. Effi has two singles and a split single under their belt. In my opinion, this upcoming LP is a nearly perfect record. This one is really going to be something.

Track 8: Kitchen and the Plastic Spoons "Liberty"
[audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/blogs/en/files/2010/03/08-liberty.mp3]
This band was introduced to me by a man named Abraham, whom I met in Paris while on tour with Gary War. Abraham runs a label called Plastic Spoons so I guess this is where he got that name. KATPS are a female-fronted synth punk band from early 80s Sweden with dark vibes. They only released two singles, both in 1980. In 2007, Ill Wind Records released a collection of those singles along with some demos (including "Liberty") and live tracks called Best Off. Available on CD only. No vinyl?

Track 9: Prudence Teacup "The Gift"
[audio: http://viceland-assets-cdn.vice.com/blogs/en/files/2010/03/09-the-gift.mp3]
My favorite record so far this year. This was released in an insanely small number (150!) on All Hands Electric. "The Gift" sounds like a lost recording from the Lady in the Radiator. So haunting and beautiful.