I Tried the kSafe (and Am Now Slightly Less Obsessed With My Phone)

For the past few years, I’ve increasingly felt like a tech-wielding zombie, and have thus sought to find a way to limit my phone usage. I look back on my innocent, younger days of watching whole films without responding to texts, or nights cooking dinner and listening to music without peeping Instagram. I remember not knowing information sometimes, and being fine with that. Not to sound like a Luddite, but it feels like everything’s making us dumber and less present. As a 30-something dude, I actually remember a time without cell phones and social media—yet, it feels like we inch closer to the world of Idiocracy every day. 

I do believe, though, that there are things we can do to take back our lives from the domination of phones. First, educating yourself about how cell phones and social media affect our lives can be a good thing to do. Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked was a compelling read, and Netflix’s The Social Dilemma, while sort of trite and corny at times, is worth watching. I also think Jordan Castro’s The Novelist is a pretty amazing critique of social media and its effect on our interior lives. In any case, most of us are not able to simply will ourselves to put down our phones, even if we know all the good arguments about why we should. That’s where the kSafe comes in.

Somewhat recently, a friend who previously had serious problems focusing during the day told me that his productivity had skyrocketed; in fact, he was completing his PhD dissertation. I asked what he’d done to turn things around, and he said he’d been locking his phone in a safe during the day so he could read and write. “This thing is hardcore,” he told me. “There’s no way to get your phone out until the timer is done.” It sounded pretty extreme to me, but I was tired of seeing disturbing screen time reports and alerts every day. I’d already deleted Instagram and Safari from my phone, trying to “dumb” it down a bit, and while that was a good development, that I seriously recommend instituting on your phone, I still had the impulse to take things further. So I tried the kSafe, which has over 7,200 ratings on Amazon for an average of 4.5 stars.

The kSafe—originally called Kitchen Safe, ostensibly created to prevent people from cheating on their diets—is a time-locking container that, once set, can’t be opened (which is, of course, the definition of a safe). You cannot override it, and there’s no emergency release. It is made of plastic, so if there’s an actual emergency, you can forcibly break the base and replace it for $20 or $30, depending on the size you have; really, the minimum level of willpower you must have in order to use the kSafe is to commit to not destroying it (or, I guess, to paying $20 for a new base because you needed to make a bad joke about the new Super Mario Bros. film on Twitter).

I tried the clear base, because I’m a masochist and wanted to endure the pain of being able to see the phone I was unable to use, but you can also get an opaque white base that prevents you from seeing what’s within. To use it, you just turn the dial on top to the amount of time you want it locked, press the button, and BAM—you’re locked out. It’s a bit jarring at first, to realize you don’t have your phone, keys, TV remote, credit card, or whatever else you’re trying to discipline yourself not to use. After a bit, though, a sense of relief sets in. You come to accept that your phone is inaccessible, and you try to commit to the moment. The times I’m most annoyed to find myself on my phone are at night, when I’m trying to wind down, so I’ve been using the kSafe in the 8 p.m. to bedtime window, and it’s been amazing. It’s gotten to the point where I actually look forward to locking my phone away.

The first time I locked my phone up for the duration of a movie (Road House, if you must know), I had all sorts of wild impulses to use it, but eventually, they died down. Here are a few thoughts I remember having while watching Road House with my phone in the safe.

I wonder what my friend Chris is doing.

What year did Patrick Swayze die? 

Which John Cassavetes movies are Ben Gazzara in?

What song is this? 

Is there a Road House 2?

Who published that article about dudes being obsessed with Master and Commander?

Do I have any meetings tomorrow afternoon?

What other Sam Elliott movies have I seen?

Will there be another season of 1883?

You get the picture. What’s interesting about logging these thoughts is that I wasn’t especially worried about sending or missing texts and calls; really, I just wanted to be able to look up information immediately. None of those questions, however, were very important or interesting. Neither was knowing whether it’s legal to mail breast milk, which is what I wondered while watching Top Chef last night with my phone in the kSafe. Sometimes, you’ve just gotta accept the mystery.

As I wrap this review up so I can go check Instagram and see how many people looked at my picture from the Cubs game at Wrigley Field last night, I’ll leave you with some final thoughts from my journey to overcome my telephone. First, it’s important to think about your relationship with this stuff, and to read more about cell phone addiction (if that’s why you want a kSafe) so you can have a better idea of what you’re up against. Second, the kSafe is a pretty awesome tool if you need a firm hand to help you stay away from whatever you’re trying to gain some discipline over—I highly recommend it if you think it’s something that you could benefit from (or if you just want to see whether you’re tough enough to handle it). And, finally, it is actually legal to mail breast milk. 

Pick up the kSafe on Amazon.

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