Photo by Ángel Delgado-ReyesWhen you’re a teenager you feel like a monster. Then you get older and you don’t feel that way unless you hate yourself/feel completely alienated from human society or, in some rare cases, you are an actual monster, like, with horns and scales and whatnot. The Hex Dispensers make music for both kinds of self-aware denizen of the night.The Hex Dispensers are a poppy dark punk outfit out of the Austin axis, where most good poppy dark punk spring from; tentacles wiggling like nobody’s business. I hesitate to try to describe The Hex Dispensers. Not because they are indescribable but because the obvious description (influenced by Ramones, horror, b-movies, Cthulhu and all the various liars and Manchurian Candidates in our midst) doesn’t do them justice. Most bands that sound like the Ramones are boring. Most bands influenced by horror and b-cinema, generic. Most bands that are influenced by Cthulhu just…aren’t. So why are Hex Dispensers one of my favorite rock and roll bands, a band whose music I return to again and again be it bar, van, or just headphones at night? I don’t know. Why is Rosemary’s Baby more than just goat-man slash fiction? Hex Dispensers have the charisma and sure hand of veteran Satanists, along with a sly humor and a simplicity that’s deceptive like, uh, Satan I guess. Anyway I truly believe that they are dealing in larger forces. Or they are just very good at bats releasing, dire wolf kissing Rock and Roll music. Theology after all is not my strong suit.Hex Dispensers have a new album, called III (just like the grandson of someone spooky!) and it has a song called “Agatha’s Antlers” that is totally not a metaphor but also is and it’s the most beautiful love song of 2015. The whole album is a slow burn stunner, like The Spits playing Carrie’s prom, and we at Noisey are delighted to be able to premier the stream of it in its entirety.The Hex Dispensers III comes out on Alien Snatch! Records on June 6th